Malta’s Most Peculiar Public Land Uproar

Unexpected Public Land Makeover in Valletta

Għażiż readers of ‘Times of Mela’, have you ever strolled down Republic Street in Valletta and thought, “Xi ħaġa nieqsa hawnhekk?” Well, brace yourselves. Early one misty morning, the iconic Triton Fountain started dispensing not water, but free-flowing ħobż biż-żejt to the bewilderment of locals and tourists alike. As the savory aroma wafted through the air, a grumbling crowd grew around the monument, not for protest but for a taste of this unexpected gastronomical bonanza.

Uwejja, who needs a water show when you can have a bread fountain? Free food, kemm hu sabiħ?!

But the edible spectacle was just the beginning. As Vallettans bathed in this miraculous bread feast, Mdina’s silent alleys were echoing with the hustle and bustle of an impromptu rabbit stew market, and the Gozo Channel had somehow become a floating parade for giant pastizzi-shaped boats. It was an island-wide takeover of public spaces that left everyone scratching their heads.

The Culinary Culprits: Leli tal-Pastizz and Karmni taz-Zalzett

Our investigation led us to none other than Leli tal-Pastizz, a former snack bar owner turned edible anarchist, and his accomplice Karmni taz-Zalzett, a deli shopkeeper with revolutionary seasoning skills. The plan was crystal clear: transform Malta into a carnival of traditional Maltese flavors.

No more boring benches or plain pavements. Every corner of our islands should make you feel like you’re in renju tat-togħma (a kingdom of taste)!

Their motto: “Eat the street!” But the plot twist lay in the dough. These culinary activists had commandeered all public lands, and every tasty monument and pastry boat sailed under a flag emblazoned with a cheeky phrase: “Property of the Maltese Stomach!”

Interactive Elements: Public Sentiments

And so, dear readers, we rolled up our sleeves, grabbed our forks, and delved into the heart of this saucy matter. Here’s a scoop of what the public had to say:

  • Sinjur Sammut: “I was about to dock my luzzu in Marsaxlokk when I almost crashed into a floating ftira! Ma stajtx nemmen!”
  • Titina: “Imagine, I walked out of my door in Sliema to a pavement of prickly pear cactus turned pastries. Għalija, this is what dreams are made of!”
  • Frans il-Mosta: “I’m proud of our culture, but when I parked my bike next to a fountain squirting kunserva, I knew we had crossed a line!”

The Aftertaste of Anarchy

The fiasco came to a halt when an anonymous whistleblower revealed that Leli and Karmni had planned to take over the Ġgantija Temples next, topping them with colossal gbejniet. The authorities, armed with bread baskets and napkins, negotiated the reclamation of public land, piece by piece, promising to look into more edible landscaping in a controlled manner.

Kollox irridu nittieħdu bil-qies, even our love for Maltese cuisine!


In the aftermath, families are seen picnicking next to the less edible yet still lovely Maltese landmarks, while Leli tal-Pastizz and Karmni taz-Zalzett pledge to continue their crusade through legal, less invasive means. As for the public lands, they have been restored, but the fragrant memory of the grand culinary uprising will linger in the Maltese air for generations.

Uwejja, till the next peculiar protest – perhaps a campaign for three-day weekends to enjoy our Għadira beaches or sloganing for siestas to match our hot Mediterranean afternoons. Stay tuned with ‘Times of Mela’ for more hilariously bizarre updates on the shenanigans across our beloved island!