Mosta’s Unseen Speedway: Residents Rev Up for a Rumble

A Tarmac Tizzy in Mosta

Mosta, known for bearing the massive Rotunda Dome – so big you could fit three whole pastizzi factories inside – has hit the headlines again. Not for a shining new landmark, but for what locals are dubbing ‘The Phantom Lane’ next to PAMA. It’s a strip of tarmac that arrived like a mysterious cat in the night, quiet, sleek, and without permission.

Local resident, Winston ‘Il-Lampuki’ Zahra, was the first to spot the fresh stretch of rogue road while his neighbors were busy enjoying a pastizzzi picnic at the local festa.

“Ara, it was like the street sprouted out of thin air! We’ve got enough roads to race all the way from Gozo and back. And this one, ħadd ma jaf (nobody knows) who gave the green light,” said Winston, munching thoughtfully on a ħobż biż-żejt.

The Plot Thickens Like a Good Rabbit Stew

Enraged residents soon formed the Mosta Marvels, a group sworn to defend their hometown from unauthorized asphalt advancements. Their first order of business: uncovering the mastermind behind this tarmac trespass.

Unbeknownst to the Marvels, Ċensu ‘il-Kukkanja’, an octogenarian with a penchant for long naps and vintage cars, had unintentionally started the whole kerfuffle. After winning big at the Mdina casino, Ċensu dreamed of his youth, where he imagined himself as a race car driver, his Żebbuġ-built Gozitan go-cart turning heads.

Amidst a dream so vivid, he sleep-dialed an old buddy from Valletta, who once dabbled in roadworks. A groggy agreement and an overzealous contractor later, Ċensu awoke to the sweet sound of steamrollers right outside his door, crafting what he thought was just an expensive dream.

Malta’s Mini Monte Carlo

Before the dust could settle, word (and other things) started flying. Rapidly, the new road was attracting a motley crew of joyriders. Trusty ‘Tal-Bajjad’ Sciclunas on their faded Vespas, teenagers with barely-there mopeds, and even Tony ‘il-Baħri’, an avid sailor who’d heard the street was so smooth, it felt like sailing on the Mediterranean.

Mosta’s serene evenings turned into a sound spectacle, with the distant tunes of the festa band now battling the vrooms and whooshes of Mosta’s Mini Monte Carlo, as residents started to ironically call it.

Clash of the Tarmac Titans

With the threat of a lawsuit dangling like a precarious pastizz over their heads, Mosta authorities scrambled for a solution. Their master plan? A flashy press conference at the base of the Rotunda – where even the pigeons seemed to perch in anticipation.

Ċensu, caught in the headlamps of public scrutiny, stood beside the mayor. An audible gasp echoed through the crowd as he revealed the road’s origin – a half-baked idea served sunny side up.

The mayor’s solution was as unique as a Gozitan gbejna – turn the road into an attraction! “We will rebrand the tarmac track as a tourist marvel! E-scooter tours by day, and a dedicated drag race strip for electric vehicles by night! Eco-friendly furries, uwejja!” He declared triumphantly to an audience swapping skeptical glances.

The Mosta Marvels now had a decision to make: the call of the courtroom or the potential promise of eco-tourism dollars?

A Mosta Miracle or Miss?

The story, ripe with twisty turns like Mosta’s side streets, remains unresolved. Will the Phantom Lane be Mosta’s fiscal fairy tale or a legal labyrinth?

Only time, tourism, and the tenacity of Mosta’s residents will tell. In the meantime, PAMA’s parking situation has become unexpectedly convenient.

So folks, next time you’re stuck in traffic on your way to the Gozo ferry, just remember, somewhere in Mosta, there’s a road that almost became the eighth wonder of the world. Mela, it’s just another ordinary day in our extraordinary little Malta.