When Gaffes Become Gaffs: Ta’ Xbiex’s Inadvertent Architectural Adventure
The Unexpected Landmark
It’s not every day that Ta’ Xbiex residents wake up to find what they thought was a temporary structure morphed overnight into an edifice of epic maladministration. Yet, here we stand—or rather, here it stands: the not-so-lean, certainly-not-mean, but absolutely not-abiding Transportation Malta’s “pop-up” office that popped a bit too hard and now refuses to pop off.
Epicurean Eureka!
The controversy began when a local chap named Wenzu, while indulging in his third ħobż biż-żejt of the day on the Ta’ Xbiex seafront, glanced up and realized that the structure, much like the olives in his bread, was quite firmly embedded in the community. “Mela, that’s an illegal building uwejja! How it got there, eh? Like a rabbit (stew) out of a hat!” he exclaimed, much to the amusement of a nearby flock of pigeons.
A Coalition of the Willing… to Complain
Armed with this crumb of information (and the rest of the ħobż), Wenzu rallied a motley crew of residents, and soon they formed the NGO ‘Do Right Have Fun’ (DRHF). They demanded the immediate demolition of what they claimed to be the 8th wonder of the Maltese bureaucratic world. “We’ve seen enough pastizzi palaces in our time,” grumbled Carm of DRHF, “But this is something else. Even da Eiffel Tower started as one temporary exhibit, now look at it!”
The Szira of Selmun
Amid the uproar, eyewitness reports surfaced of a Selmun-based seer, Mgarr-ita, predicting that the building would stay exactly 123 days before mysteriously vanishing. Her prophecy, delivered over a plate of fenek (rabbit), was met with equal parts skepticism and hope. “123 days! Exactly how long my nanna takes to knit a scarf!” commented an onlooker, knitting furiously.
“Dawn things happen only in Malta. Maybe we ask McDonald’s to build a Happy Meal toy version of it – become part of Maltese lore,” quipped Wenzu during an impromptu interview with ‘Times of Mela.’
The Gozitan Guardian
A twist in the tale came when a Gozitan contractor by the name of Pawlu claimed rightful ownership of the structure, citing a mix-up in construction plans. “I printed them plans on the back of a festa program,” Pawlu admitted, his cheeks the color of Gozo’s famous ġbejniet. “Next thing I know, I’m building in Ta’ Xbiex instead of Xlendi. Kollox possibli hawn Malta!”
Interactive Plot Twist Poll!
‘Times of Mela’ invites its readers to partake in a poll to decide the fate of the rogue Transport Malta building:
- Turn it into a museum of Maltese Misadventures.
- Repurpose it as a giant pastizzeria for an authentic Maltese experience (no stealing pastizzi, we promise!)
- Dismantle it brick by brick and use them as good luck charms for anyone dealing with Maltese bureaucracy.
The Plot Thickens Like Well-Stewed Rabbit
As the day of reckoning approaches, the DRHF members stand united, albeit a little sunburnt, in front of the accidental structure, clutching their ħobż biż-żejt sandwiches. Meanwhile, Pawlu launches a preservative campaign, declaring the site a ‘neo-post-faux-historic’ marvel. “It embodies the spirit of Malta, resilient against the odds,” he says, wiping a tear with a freshly printed construction plan-cum-festa program.
Grand Finale (or Is It? Spoiler: It’s Not)
In a baffling turn of events, just as the excavator’s claw was about to nibble at the contentious building, an underground spring erupted, sending forth a stream of sparkling water. The accidental office was now an accidental fountain, much to the delight and confusion of locals and tourists alike. “Ahh, kollox jinqala’ f’Malta!” they exclaimed in chorus as they switched from grumbling to swimming trunks.
“And that’s how Transportation Malta unwillingly made a splash in Maltese architecture,” concluded the ‘Times of Mela’ correspondent, as a water-soaked blueprint floated by, drawing a smiley face in the irresistible poetry of chaos that defines the Maltese planning paradise.
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