Identity Malta Under Siege: Cabinet Secretary’s Sudoku Scandal

The Unraveling of Mdina’s Grandest Misunderstanding

It was a sunny morning in the silent city of Mdina, where the only things louder than the tour guides shouting “Mela, look here!” were the allegations swirling around Identity Malta. The historic town’s tranquility was shattered when Cabinet Secretary, Spiro Sfenakkaratzis, announced a lawsuit against maverick MP Jason Azzopardi for defamation. The charge? Implausible accusations of Sudoku-related influence peddling at Identity Malta.

Of Sudoku and Scandals

Sfenakkaratzis, a man known for his love of puzzling challenges, was ironically puzzled himself by Azzopardi’s claim. Taking to social media, the secretary expressed his bewilderment,

“Ejja now, this is not what it looks like! My daily Sudoku habit has no connection to Identity Malta’s affairs. Anyone looking for special treatment will find no quarter here – though I am always willing to share some tips on cracking those tricky 9×9 grids!”

Meanwhile, Azzopardi stood defiant in the face of ridicule, doubling down on his allegations.

“Conspiracy? More like a puzzle of corruption, with pieces carefully placed to hide the true picture. My sources are as reliable as a Gozitan clock tower!”

Valletta’s ‘Vinċi’ to Uncover the Truth

The case took an unexpected turn when a local street artist, dubbed ‘Vinċi’ for his habit of painting cryptic symbols on Valletta’s storied walls, stumbled upon the scene. Vinċi claimed to have deciphered a hidden message in Sfenakkaratzis’ Sudoku puzzles that pointed to a grand conspiracy within Identity Malta.

What followed was a humorous chain of misunderstandings and revelations that rocked the nation. And yes, a head-spinning twist was just around the corner.

The Ħobż biż-Żejt Incident

The breakthrough came not through clandestine snooping or high-tech espionage, but rather due to the most Maltese of circumstances. Spiro, rummaging through his bag for his well-earned mid-morning ħobż biż-żejt sandwich, accidentally spilled a stack of Sudoku puzzles onto his desk for all to see.

As a puzzled subordinate accidentally smeared some tomato paste on a puzzle, the impromptu daubing revealed an ingeniously hidden message amongst the numbers. It wasn’t a conspiracy code or a bribery ledger—it was a cry for help. Sfenakkaratzis had been stymied not by corruption but by an especially infuriating Sudoku puzzle and needed assistance.

The Maltese Crossword: A Nation Holds Its Breath

The nation watched, breath held, as ‘Vinċi’ solved the puzzle live on TVM, standing in front of the iconic Triton Fountain, cheered on by an eclectic crowd munching pastizzi and rabbit stew. As the final number slid into place, a collective “Uwejja!” of relief echoed across the islands. Malta’s grand Sudoku mystery wasn’t about bribes; it was all about making sure a 7 didn’t end up in the wrong square.

Mock Interview: The Olive Branch

Times of Mela: “Mr. Sfenakkaratzis, now that the Sudoku scandal has been solved, what’s next?”

Spiro Sfenakkaratzis: “Kollox sew, my friends! I extend an olive branch to Jason—let us celebrate our shared love for puzzles over some timpana at the village festa. But kieku, he should leave the Sudoku to me from now on!”

The secretary’s lawsuit dissolved faster than a cube of sugar in a scorching cup of Kinnie, and the two were last seen clinking Cisk bottles, united by their newfound respect for the complexities of the noble game of Sudoku.

Follow-Up Fiasco: The Copycat Craze

In a curious twist straight out of a Maltese folktale, Vinċi’s live Sudoku spectacle ignited a national pastime. Everyone from Qormi to Qawra was now obsessed with stamping their own cryptic messages into puzzles of all kinds, with shops even selling out of word search books.

The moral of the story? Next time someone warns you about the dangers of bureaucracy, just remember: it may be no more than a couple of misplaced numbers—or tomatoes—away from national uproar. And as for Identity Malta, they’re now reportedly offering ‘Puzzle Solving’ as an elective course for citizenship applicants, because in Malta, Kollox is possible.

Mela, that’s the story from the Times of Mela, reminding you to always look between the lines—sometimes there’s a hidden message waiting just for you!