A Chilly Awakening in Sliema

Eh, hemm xi ħaġa stramba llum! One July morning, Sliema residents woke up to find their sunny seaside town trussed up in icicles and snowflakes. Huddled in blankets, they peeped out as their familiar promenade shimmered like a Christmas postcard – in summer. Where once kids licked gelatos, now stood confused folks chiseling their frozen pastizzi from street vendor carts.

“Ċaw, is this some kind of prank?” muttered an incredulous Tarcisio as he attempted to scrape off the frost from his Vespa.

Mdina: The Silent City’s Noisy Blunder

Over in Mdina, the sound of teeth chattering echoed off the ancient walls. Horse-drawn carriages stood solid in the road, looking like ice sculptures fit for a king’s banquet. “This is madness! My figolla recipe will be ruined if this continues,” complained the normally mellow Doris, wielding a wooden spoon like a scepter.

A Local Weatherman’s Flaky Forecast

In an attempt to make sense of this frosty debacle, the people turned to local weatherman, Ċikku, whose forecast certainly hadn’t predicted “snowstorms with a chance of icebergs.” The satellite dish on his rooftop was now doubling as a giant snow cone.

“Uwejja, ladies and gentlemen! Expect sunny skies and… Is that snow?!” stammered Ċikku as his waterski promotion became a sled sales pitch.

Valletta’s Castille Ain’t No Ice Castle

Prime Minister Carm’s office in Valletta scrambled as foreign diplomats inquired whether Malta was making a bold statement for climate change. “Is this a new avant-garde move?” they asked, squinting at photographs of the frozen Upper Barrakka Gardens, now a rival to any winter wonderland.

“Qisek qed tippjana,” Carm laughed nervously, assuring that Malta’s natural bubbly warmth would return posthaste. Meanwhile, his assistant frantically googled “how to unfreeze an entire island.”

Gozo’s Ġbejna Takes on a New Meaning

In Gozo, the situation wasn’t any better. The iconic Azure Window had somehow reappeared overnight, boasting a makeover as the “Azure Ice Arch”. Tourists who had previously lamented its loss were now queuing up to skate under it. “Incredible, just like Frozen!” they marveled, completely missing the irony.

Local shepherd Karmenu, known for his renowned ġbejniet, now found them literally as hard as rocks. “Maybe this is the universe telling me to try out cheese-flavored ice cream,” he pondered, stroking his frost-glazed goatee.

Mysterious Happenings and Unexpected Heroes

Theories abounded on what could’ve turned the island into a scene straight out of “The Day After Tomorrow.” Was it a tech mogul unveiling a new type of air conditioner? Or simply a mystical anomaly involving ħobż biż-żejt and a mischievous genie?

The Turnaround: A Kooky Discovery

But leave it to the Maltese resourcefulness to come up with inventive solutions—kids fashioned snorkels into makeshift breathing apparatus while enjoying the novelty, and a brave tourist nicknamed ‘The Heat’ claimed he could reverse the chill by sheer willpower and hot breath.

However, the true savior emerged in the form of an elderly fisherman from Marsaxlokk, Zeppi, whose old boat engine had a peculiar habit of overheating. Setting off for a day at sea, Zeppi’s boat coughed and spluttered, churning out plumes of warm air. As he circled the island, a miraculous thing happened—wherever Zeppi went, the ice began to melt.

The Great Maltese Thaw

Piccioni cooed in delight as village squares filled with chatty folks once more, and children chased after melting snowballs. Glasses clinked at outdoor cafés serving lampuki pie and rabbit stew, reinvigorated by the thawing cheer.

And, as the people congregated to thank Zeppi, they couldn’t help but ask how he’d done it. With a twinkle in his eye, he simply replied, “Maybe it was my secret batch of sundried tomatoes, or maybe the island just needed a warm heart to defrost its cold spell. Mela, kollox possibbli!”

Laughs rippled through the crowd, and someone in the back shouted, “Next time it snows, we’ll just have Boca’s to do the job!” – A playful nod to their beloved local football team known for their fiery spirit.

What’s Next?

The day was saved, and the island’s temperature returned to its standard divine disposition. “Times of Mela” covered the story with a humorous touch, featuring snapshots of Zeppi’s boat labeled “Malta’s New Central Heating System,” and interviews with the frozen pastizzi vendors turning their ordeal into an innovative cryogenic snack start-up.

Although the exact cause remained a mystery wrapped in riddle and drizzled with satire, what lingered was the unmistakable bond of the Maltese and their ability to find humor—even in a deep freeze. As the Maltese say, “Dak kien wieħed bnazzi!”

Kif qed tħosskom wara dan il-frejgat? Hit us up on our social media with your warmest stories from the coldest day in Maltese history and tag it #MelaThaw.