Exclusive: PN Stumbles Upon Suspicious Berthing Bonanza ‘Near AUM’

The Great Berth Mystery

In a turn of events that’s as fishy as the catch from Marsaxlokk on a Sunday morning, Transport Malta officials have been caught in a tangle over the management of vessel berthing, right within a stone’s throw of the esteemed American University of Malta (AUM). This tale of the sea has gotten the Nationalist Party (PN) waving their hands more than a conductor at the Valletta Philharmonic. “Mela, this doesn’t add up,” declares a perplexed Party spokesperson, Leli l-Perit.

Vessels Ahoy!

It started as a regular inspection, the kind where you’d expect to hear nothing more than the gentle lapping of waves against the quay and maybe the distant hum of a ħobż biż-żejt vendor. But, uwejja, things quickly escalated when Leli l-Perit, equipped with only his keen eye and a leftover tuna ftira, spotted officials acting all shifty around mooring lines.

“One minute, it’s all quiet, just a few dgħajjes pottering about, the next, these officials are bustling around like it’s the feast of Santa Marija,” Leli tells our roving reporter.

The Plot Thickens: A Nautical Nonsense

As the curious case deepened, the PN officials noticed that these weren’t your ordinary pleasure boats coming in to dock but rather a series of luxury yachts, flaunting out-of-place opulence among humble fishing vessels. Among the fiberglass giants, a rustic luzzu named “Tal-Pastizzi” sat in stark contrast, looking as lost as a tourist trying to pronounce “Ix-Xagħra.”

Red Flags and Rabbit Stews

Under the guise of a casual dock walker, Leli l-Perit gathered intel. Turns out, these yachts weren’t just docking for the breathtaking views of Gozo but were partaking in what appeared to be a high-rolling berthing bonanza, exchanging sweet, sweet euros for prime maritime real estate.

“It’s like they were hosting a rabbit stew cook-off on deck, with each yacht trying to outspice the last. But, kollox bonċi, no such event was on the AUM calendar!” Leli quipped with suspicious raised eyebrows.

Anchors Aweigh to Answers

Sensing a conspiracy that might dwarf the Great Siege of Malta in complexity, Leli l-Perit set forth on an undercover mission that’d make Il-Kap even keener to get the scoop. The Party’s social media was soon abuzz with covert snapshots of the superyachts taken from the Mdina battlements, asking netizens to #GuessTheYacht.

Fictional Interview with An Insider

Our Times of Mela exclusive correspondent disguises as a fisherman to speak with Karlu, rumored to be a Transport Malta official.

“So, Karlu, anything unusual about these yachts choosing Malta instead of, say, the Riviera?” asks our correspondent, dangling bait of curiosity.

“Uwejja, friend, they’re just here for the sun and the pastizzi! Who doesn’t love a good ricotta or pea-filled delight, eh? No irregularities here – on my mama’s figolla, I swear!” deflects Karlu, eyes darting nervously.

The Revelations

Mere days later, quite unexpectedly, an amateur diver emerges from the cerulean depths with footage of a sunken vessel boasting the crest of the AUM. The plot, as they say, was no longer just thickened – it had congealed like last year’s Christmas pudding.

The Flotilla Flip

In a swaggering twist fit for a Carnival float, the Nationalist Party reveals that these strategically berthed yachts were part of an elaborate scheme to teach AUM students the intricacies of ‘Maritime Hospitality Management.’ The vessel graveyard beneath was actually a hands-on, albeit a bit wet, archeology lab! Who would have thought?

Transport Malta officials finally come clean, admitting, “It’s a Malta miracle – mixing education with pleasure cruising! Plus, we give free swimming lessons to anyone who can’t pronounce ‘Ċirkewwa.'” The statement hopes to soothe waves of discontent as smoothly as ġbejniet melts on fresh Maltese bread.

Unsolved Mysteries: A Times of Mela Special

The story leaves us with more questions than a round of Maltese Jeopardy. Is the Nationalist Party playing a game of battleships with hints of truth, or has Transport Malta truly dived into entrepreneurial waters?

Only time will tell if this berthing controversy is the harbinger of a maritime education revolution or just another peculiar wave in the Maltese political regatta.

The Times of Mela will continue monitoring this berthing spectacle – because if there’s one thing we Maltese love more than a good festa, it’s a juicy bit of goss by the water’s edge.