The Case of the Disappearing Ħobż biż-Żejt

The Mysterious Happenings in Valletta

It seemed like a regular sunny day in the bustling streets of Valletta, with tourists flocking to the Upper Barrakka Gardens for selfies with the big guns and locals scuttling about their business. But whispers swept through Strait Street, something was amiss. Ħobż biż-żejt, the beloved Maltese sandwich, was vanishing from people’s hands before they could take a bite!

“Mela, I just bought it from that vendor over there,” muttered Manwel, a retired postman, befuddled by the sudden disappearance of his lunch. “Uwejja, it’s like the sandwich grew legs!”

Enter Detective Ilsienna Tabib

Amongst the chatter, Detective Ilsienna Tabib was called to the scene. Known for her sharp wit and a predilection for twistees, she wasn’t just any typical sleuth. With her trusty notepad and an eyebrow cocked, she scrutinized the baffled crowd. “Kollox sew, folks! We’ll crack this case faster than you can say ‘Timpana!'” she proclaimed.

Clues and Suspects

Leaning against the ancient walls of St. John’s Co-Cathedral, she scribbled notes furiously. Her first suspect? Toni l-Għannej, a busker with a voice so enchanting, he could distract a whole piazza. Victims recounted how they listened to his serenades moments before their ħobż biż-żejt vanished.

Ilsienna prodded, “So, Toni, where were you when these fine people lost their meals?” He simply strummed his guitar, fluttering his eyelashes innocently. “Singing, sura. What harm could a melody bring?”

Gozo’s Gizmo Guru to the Rescue?

Just when the trail seemed colder than leftover pastizzi, a twist unfolded; Carmnu l-Inventur from Gozo announced he had created a device to track missing sandwiches!

Via live Facebook feed, the self-declared genius demonstrated his contraption amidst cheers from the online crowd. It whirred, beeped, and spat out a receipt with GPS coordinates – it pointed to Mdina, the silent city.

A Wild Goose Chase?

Upon Ilsienna’s arrival in Mdina, her senses were assaulted by the scent of fresh bread. Turning a corner, she stumbled upon a circle of cats, each with a ħobż biż-żejt clamped in their mouths. “Uwejja! It was the cats all along!” she exclaimed.

Just as the detective was about to call it a case closed, the felines dashed into a hidden underground lair, revealing rows of stolen sandwiches and a stash of Maltese folklore books. “Who would’ve thought? Educated, thieving cats!”

The Unexpected Twist

But wait – the plot thickened like a hearty rabbit stew. The cats were mere pawns in the grand scheme of an eccentric historian, Dun Karm Psaila, who believed that ħobż biż-żejt held the key to unlocking the true spirit of Malta. “Once you digest the culture, you become the culture!” he proclaimed, streaming it all on YouTube.

An Interactive Ending

The Times of Mela invited readers to vote on Dun Karm Psaila’s fate. Should he be given a pass for championing Maltese culinary heritage or face the music? Votes poured in, and the consensus was clear: a fine of cooking ħobż biż-żejt for the entire populace for a year!

As the sandwiches were restored to their rightful owners, everyone mused at the absurdity. Ilsienna, sandwich in hand, mused, “Only in Malta would a crime wave mean stolen snacks!” And with that, she took a hearty bite of her hard-won ħobż biż-żejt, grateful for the taste of victory.

The Times of Mela reminds you to guard your lunches, but more importantly, to laugh a little at the oddities life – and cats – can throw your way. Uwejja, who’s up for a bite?