The Great Mdina Marathon Mishap

When Running Shoes Become Floatation Devices

It was a day like no other in the ancient city of Mdina, where the silent streets usually echoed nothing more than the footsteps of tourists and the occasional clattering of a horse-drawn karozzin. Yet on this sunny Sunday, the locals of this former capital had lined up their chairs, uwejja, they didn’t want to miss the spectacle of the first-ever Mdina Marathon – an event destined to sprint into the annals of history with the speed of a pastizz flying off a hot plate.

Introducing the Contenders

Meet Domeniku, a retired postman with calves as sturdy as the bastions of Valletta, and Żebbuġa, an enthusiastic gym instructor with a hairstyle as complex as the streets of Rabat. They were joined by Carmelita, known through Sliema for turning every Zumba class into a festa.

At the Starting Line

As the clock struck nine, contenders took their mark outside the Mdina Gate, shoes laced up and ready to conquer the hilly terrain. Domeniku eyed his rivals with a grin, having coated his soles with what he believed to be a secret weapon – a homemade concoction of rabbit stew sauce for extra grip. Little did he know that Carmelita had swapped it with her famed ħobż biż-żejt oil, in hopes of securing her victory through a well-oiled, glide-to-win strategy.

The Race is On!

The starter’s pistol fired, and they were off! With each step, Domeniku’s feet began to slip and slide, leaving a trail of olive oil and tomatoes in his wake. Participants behind him were skidding like it was Winter il-Qawra ice rink, causing what could only be described as a slapstick ballet of epic proportions.

“Dak kien slipperier than a politician’s promise,” commented one spectator, peering over her spectacles as competitors struggled to maintain their composure.

The Plot Thickens

By the time the marathon runners reached the outskirts of Gozo (yes, due to an amusing oversight, the route had mistakenly included a ferry trip), a new contender had emerged from the chaos. Zeppi, a local stray dog known to beg for scraps outside the Gozitan fish market, had mistakenly joined the race, leading the pack by a sizable margin.

The sight of a dog on a ferry followed by a hoard of oily athletes quickly went viral, as locals on social media began to cheer for Zeppi with hashtags like #GoZeppiGo and #FurryFlash.

A Wild Finish

Against all odds, and with the unwelcome help of drifting currents, Zeppi and the slippery athletes made an unexpected detour, washing up not far from the majestic Azure Window ruins. It was here, amidst the clapping waves and the cheering crowd that had followed the chaos from their smartphones, that Zeppi crossed an impromptu finish line made of seaweed and driftwood, thereby winning the first-ever aquatic Mdina Marathon.

The Aftermath

As the dust (or rather, salt) settled, Zeppi was awarded a lifetime supply of lampuki pies and a gold medal crafted from the finest gbejna. Carmelita, Domeniku, and the rest were hailed as heroes for their perseverance and unintentionally inventing what was to be known as the Maltese Aquatic Marathon.

“This will go down in history, ser tant better than the football national team… uwejja mela!” exclaimed Domeniku, finally embracing the hilarity that enriches Maltese life as much as a good snack of qassatat or ftira.

And so, dear readers of ‘Times of Mela,’ let’s lace up our shoes (oil-free, please), and remember that when life throws you into unexpected currents, sometimes the best thing to do is to swim along and enjoy the ride!

This satirical account has been brought to you by the ‘Times of Mela,’ your go-to source for the lighter side of Maltese life. Where the news is as unique as the place it comes from, where the olive oil flows freely, and where the dogs, indeed, might just outrun us all.