The Baffling Case of the Disappearing Football in Birżebbuġa

Every Ball Counts in the Islands

It was a typical sunny afternoon in Birżebbuġa, a day where the impossible seemed bored of just being probable. In the midst of this ordinary laziness, a peculiar event unfolded that would soon become the talk of not only this small seaside village but also of Valletta and the far shores of Gozo.

On the village football pitch, halfway through a heated match between the local underdog team, Il-Komodini, and the quite literally elevated rivals from Mdina, Ix-Xitan Scorchers, something rather strange occurred. As Toni – the striker known for his feet faster than a qarabagħli down a hill – was about to score, the ball, as if by magic, vanished into thin air. Uwejja! Not dribbled away or stolen, but poof! Gone!

Bizarre Turns and Stupefied Spectators

This phenomenon left both teams stupefied, gazing at the goalpost like it was some alien monolith. The referee, a middle-aged chap named Wistin, famed for his faith in all superstitions from the evil eye to the mystical properties of ħobż biż-żejt, immediately called for an emergency meeting at the town’s pastizzeria.

“I’ve seen a lot in my time,” Wistin huffed, puffing on an imaginary pipe. “But a disappearing ball? That’s one for the annals of Maltese folklore along with il-Ġgantija’s construction by giants and the fattest fenkata!”

While the teams munched on pastizzi ricotta and pondered upon this existential crisis, across the village square, Marthese, the local fruit vendor, spotted the ball on the roof of her kiosk, sitting between a pile of bidni oranges and a crate of għeneb. “How in the world…” she gasped, as the ball winked at her—or she thought it did.

An Investigation Like No Other

The Striker’s Theory

Toni, sensing a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to score an interview with Times of Mela, crafted a tale of a mysterious wind gust, born from the sighs of lovelorn tourists in Valletta, that whisked the ball away.

A Turn for the Historical

The goalkeeper from the visiting team, Saviour, an amateur historian with a penchant for drama, blamed the Knights of St. John. “They’ve returned as ghosts to train for the Great Siege of 1565: Part Deux!” he proclaimed, as he dramatically reenacted their supposed ancient drills with a packet of Twistees for emphasis.

Social Media Goes Wild

The event went viral on Maltese social media with hashtags like #BallGone and #BirzebbugaBewilderment. A Facebook post from Marthese, complete with a photo of the ball amidst her wares, garnered likes and laugh emojis in equal measure.

The Twist No One Expected

However, it was the local sci-fi club president, Dun Karm X, who eventually solved the mystery. His homemade drone, while trying to snap aerial pictures of the picturesque bay for his blog ‘UFOs over Malta’, had clipped the ball mid-flight and transported it to Marthese’s stall.

A Festive Conclusion

The ball was returned amid cheers, and the match resumed. The Komodini scored, securing a victory as sweet as Maltese honey. They celebrated by diving into the sea, fully kitted out. Dun Karm X was made an honorary referee, and Wistin finally stopped trusting in witchcraft, opting instead for a rabbit stew meal to pre-empt match day luck.

As the day wrapped up, with the sunset casting the bay in warm hues, the residents of Birżebbuġa, Valletta, and even Gozo all shared a knowing smile. Only in Malta could a football match turn into an island-wide commotion, a vortex of cheeky folklore, and a reminder that sometimes the answer is just a wayward drone on a mistimed adventure.

Mela, dear readers, if ever you find yourself in a local game gone bizarrely awry, just remember: Kollox jista’ jiġri! Everything can happen – especially in Malta!