When Matteo Met Valentina: Malta’s Baby Name Bonanza

The Great Name Game of 2024

Uwejja! If you were strolling through the sunny streets of Valletta this past year, chances are you’d hear the names Matteo and Valentina being lovingly cooed at every playpen and park bench.

For reasons unknown, Maltese parents have been swept up in a name frenzy, choosing these two names more than any other in 2024. It became such a phenomenon that a congregation of Matteos and Valentinas was spotted having a party at the Upper Barrakka Gardens, where the tiddlers were given miniature ħobż biż-żejt instead of the usual party treats. Mela, you heard that right!

Ċikku’s Conspiracy Theories

“I’m tellin’ ya, it’s that new soap opera, ‘Ix-Xemx u l-Qamar,’ it had a Matteo and a Valentina, and suddenly everyone’s naming their kids after them, it’s like pastizzi and ricotta all over again!” – Ċikku, local gossip guru.

Not everyone was convinced the soap opera was to blame. Some insinuated a more ‘tech-savvy’ reason behind the sensation. Local grandma Marouska swears it was her WhatsApp forwards that did the trick, containing a chain message promising good fortune to any child named Matteo or Valentina.

The Maddening Mix-Up

Imagine, if you will, the chaos at the Mdina daycare center, where twelve Matteos and nine Valentinas enrolled this fall. The teachers, in a tizzy, decided to add surnames, birthmarks, and favourite pastizzi flavours to the roll call. “Matteo with the cheek mole who likes peas in his pastizzi, your mum is here!” became a common phrase.

A Twist in the Census

In an unexpected turn of events, the town of Gozo (yes, the whole town) decided to rebel against this trend. They declared that no child within their jurisdiction shall be named Matteo or Valentina for the next year. Instead, they introduced a rotating name system based on local landmarks. This month’s names? Ġgantija and Azure.

Interactive Slice of Life

We caught up with Tal-Barmil who had her own opinions on the matter.

“Kollox imur moda, moda tiela u moda tinżel. My granddaughter’s called Valentina, and while it’s pretty, it’s too common now! Next time, I’ll suggest Xemxija or Ta’ Dbiegi, much more unique!” – Tal-Barmil, proud nonna and trendsetter.

The Name Game Continues

Despite Tal-Barmil’s resistance, Matteo and Valentina remain on the tips of expectant parents’ tongues. Rumour has it there might be a secret incentive involving a lifetime supply of ħobż biż-żejt, but the Ministry of Names—a recently established body to monitor these trends—has neither confirmed nor denied this speculation.

All in all, it was a year of perplexing popularity for two names that will surely echo through the corridors of Maltese history, much like the sound of church bells over the three cities. As for the next baby-naming trend, only time (and maybe another episode of ‘Ix-Xemx u l-Qamar’) will tell.

#MatteoValentina2024: A Hashtag in the Making

And don’t be surprised if you see #MatteoValentina2024 trending on the local social media scene. Ħa parents document their little ones’ milestones under a unified digital banner, hoping to achieve viral fame—or at least bragging rights at the next family fenkata.

Mela, here’s looking at you, future Matteos and Valentinas. May your names be as timeless as the Maltese limestone and as flavourful as a fresh batch of figolli come Easter. Uwejja, what a year to be named!