Times of Mela Exclusive: Malta’s Maiden Voyage to Build a New Island!

Chapter 1: The Grand Announcement

People of Malta, uwejja! Get ready for some “jaw-dropping” news! Our beloved island is no longer content with its current gorgeous contours; the powers that be have decided to give Mother Nature a nudge – or a bulldozer, more like. That’s right, the rumors are confirmed: Malta is embarking on a fresh conquest, not of the seas, but in the seas – we’re building an EXTRA island! And it’s not just any island; we’re talking about the eighth wonder of the world here!

Chapter 2: Meet the Masterminds

Leading this watery quest are none other than the legendary architect Wistin and his sidekick, a feng shui consultant named Ċettina. Their grandiose plans were unveiled atop the bastions of Valletta, with Ġbejniet canapés and glasses of Kinnie for all, as the muffled sound of a Gozitan playing the żafżafa in the background set an adventurous mood.

“We’re not just aiming to reclaim land; we’re aiming to reclaim the hearts of the people with an island that has its own zip code, a turtle sanctuary, and a 24/7 pastizzeria!” Wistin exclaimed, to thunderous applause from the crowd.

Chapter 3: Mdina’s Missing Moat

However, the project hit a snag when reports surfaced that Mdina’s iconic moat was drained overnight, leaving behind only a family of confused ducks and a sunken scooter. Conspiracy theorists suggested the water was earmarked for the new island’s first wave pool, which Wistin cheekily neither confirmed nor denied in an interview with ‘Times of Mela.’

Chapter 4: Social Media Frenzy

Maltese social media lit up faster than the village festa fireworks! Someone using the handle @PastizzLover posted a montage of Gozo ferries choreographed to swan dive into the prospective island’s territory, claiming it was a leaked government training video for ‘Project:Floating Pastizzis.’ Emoji reactions ranged from the teary-eyed laughing cat to the perplexed pastizz.

The Plot Thickens: Unforeseen Hurdles

Just when the nation was busy practicing saying “Malta and its neighboring islet” without tripping over their tongues, an extraordinary discovery rocked the archipelago. A group of amateur snorkelers near Comino stumbled upon an ancient underwater ħobż biż-żejt, perfectly preserved in amber. Could this sandwich be the fabled Lost Snack of Atlantis or merely a fisherman’s forgotten lunch?

Chapter 5: An Aquatic Misunderstanding

The story took a wild dive when Ċettina, the feng shui expert, passionately argued that the new island should be shaped like a giant Malta cross to maximize cosmic harmony. However, due to a hilariously misheard phone call, Wistin unveiled blueprints for an island shaped like a colossal Maltese sausage instead.

Chapter 6: The People’s Voice

It was time for the voice of the people to be heard. We at ‘Times of Mela’ conducted a series of interviews, and the reaction was a mixed platter of emotions:

“Mela, this must be a joke! Who comes up with this, a child playing in the sandbox?” snorted Manwel, a local ħobż biż-żejt vendor.

“Kollox is possible with imagination! And plenty of concrete,” chimed in Rita, an optimistic construction worker.

Epilogue: Where Do We Go from Here?

In a twist no one expected, the European Union flagged the new island project for potentially creating an ecological disaster. At last check, Wistin was observed spending hours meditating inside a ġgantija temple, seeking ancestral guidance, while Ċettina was busily marketing miniature floating islands as tourist souvenirs.

So, as the sun sets over the three cities, the future of Malta’s aquatic annexation remains as blurry as a summer mirage. Stay tuned to ‘Times of Mela’ for all the satirical tales and updates right from the heart of the Mediterranean!

Mela folks, whether we succeed or swim, one thing’s for sure – it’s never a dull moment on our beloved rock!