The Unlikely Alliance: Ian Borg and Trump’s Traffic Tangle in Malta

Chapter 1: The Puzzling Partnership

It was a sunny day in Valletta, just the right kind of day to sit on the bench by the Triton Fountain and enjoy a warm, flaky pastizz filled with ricotta. That is, unless you’re Transport Minister Ian Borg, who found himself in the most absurd meeting of his career—with none other than the former President of the United States, Donald Trump.

“Mr. Borg, I’ve got a fantastic idea,” Trump declared, his hair waving in the Mediterranean breeze like a distant cousin of the Azure Window before its untimely demise. “We’re going to build a wall—no, a highway across the entire island of Gozo!”

Chapter 2: Traffic Tangles and Twitter Tirades

In Mdina, silently dubbed the Silent City for obvious reasons, Trump’s proposal caused an uproar louder than Ġiljan’s modified exhaust on his beloved ’89 Ta’ Qali drift car. People were in a frenzy—was this the solution to the endless traffic jams, or a recipe for chaos?

“A highway across Gozo?” exclaimed Carmelina, a Gozitan bakery owner. “Where will my sheep graze? How will the tourists find my shop selling ħobż biż-żejt and homemade gbejniet?”

Meanwhile, Ian Borg faced an even tougher crowd at a press conference. With furrowed brow, he muttered, “Uwejja, we’re just exploring options—kollox can be resolved with proper planning.”

Chapter 3: The Plot Kaleidoscopes

Then, just as Maltese Twitter began trolling with memes of Trump munching on rabbit stew with a side of infrastructure worries, an unexpected twist flashed across their screens.

“Just spoke with my good friend Ian,” tweeted Trump. “We won’t just stop at highways—I’m bringing my world-famous hotels to Qawra! Maltese luxury at its best!”

Qawra’s local council, which had mostly dealt with restaurant permit requests and beach cleanliness complaints, was suddenly drafting city planning policies for towers that reached higher than the Mosta Dome’s ego.

Chapter 4: The Grand Gozo Hoax

But just as the perplexed public began to adapt to the idea, reality TV star and investigative journalist Calida Zahra aired a shocking expose: “The Grand Gozo Hoax.” As loġġas gossip fuelled debates, the twist of all twists was revealed.

“All this highway talk was just a diversion,” Calida announced, grinning on camera. “Trump had mistaken our Gozo for his long-sought Greenland! Talk about cold ambition, folks!”

Chapter 5: The Conclusion No One Expected—or Believed

As the island community let out a collective sigh of relief, a final bizarre event had everyone’s heads spinning. Trump announced his withdrawal saying, “I discovered a new passion—Maltese festas. I’ll be the president of the St. Paul’s Bay festa committee. Prepare for the greatest festa you’ve ever seen!”

All Maltese eyes rolled in unison, but deep down, everyone looked forward to a festa headlined by cover bands of Trump’s favorite classic rock hits, with fireworks choreographed to “We Are the Champions.”

And as for Minister Borg? He was last seen quietly enjoying a plate of timpana at a Sliema eatery, relieved that the only lines he’d be drawing were the ones separating ziti from bolognese. “Mela, that’s enough excitement for one term,” he chuckled to himself.

The End…or Is It?

Whether Ian Borg’s peaceful afternoon would last or be interrupted by another world leader’s bizarre vacation plans was anyone’s guess. The Times of Mela’s readers, however, were left pondering one important question—could this actually happen in Malta?

Stay tuned for more tales from the whimsical world of ‘Times of Mela.’