The Curious Case of the Maltese Voting Fiesta

Unexpected Twists in the Polling Predicament

Every election year, the tiny yet spirited island nation of Malta turns into a veritable fiesta. But this year, the festivities were kicked up a notch when Bernard Grech, known locally as “Il-Kap tal-Partit,” made a rallying cry that was heard from the echoes of Valletta to the tranquil shores of Gozo. “Our country is calling us, uwejja, let us answer that call,” he declared, urging the electorate to vote with a passion typically reserved for the final of Eurovision.

On a sunny afternoon, when usually one would enjoy a tranquil ħobż biż-żejt by the sea in Sliema, the streets were buzzing with an uncertain excitement. Posters of candidates smiling wider than they do at family gatherings plastered every lamppost, and flags swayed like proud grandmothers at a First Communion.

Voting Shenanigans: When Ġużi Met the Ballot Box

Enter Ġużi – a fisherman from Marsaxlokk with a heart of gold and a wit as sharp as a filleting knife. Ġużi had never missed an election, believing his vote was as crucial as a good tuna catch. His childhood friend, Tereżina, a rabbit stew connoisseur from Mdina, was determined to vote for the first time, but she needed Ġużi’s guidance. Who knew that going to vote could be as thrilling as finding a golden pastizz hidden among the ricotta ones? Mela, in Malta, kollox is possible!

Plot Twist: The Ballot Ballet

On election day, as the sun blazed down upon the limestone facades, an improbable spectacle unfolded. Ġużi, navigating the corridors of the voting hall like a ship in a storm, inadvertently swapped his ballot paper with Tereżina’s. “Miskin, you had one job!” she teased, not knowing this little gaffe would lead to an uproar that would make a festa’s fireworks seem like a child’s sparkler.

The Social Media Hullabaloo: Netizens to the Rescue

“Listen, friends,” tweeted Tereżina, “I accidentally voted for someone who thinks ġbejniet should be square, not round. This cannot stand!”. The tweet caught like wildfire, sparking a hashtag that trended faster than the time it takes for a Gozitan ferry to fill up on a public holiday: #SquareĠbejnietScandal.

The island’s collective gasp was nearly audible, leading to social media becoming a battleground hosting debates fiercer than the argument over who makes the best ftira in the land.

Vote Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bee

In classic Maltese fashion, this unexpected turn of events turned the election on its head. Never before had the electorate been so mobilized by the prospect of a square cheese. Sousa, a young influencer from Rabat, sprung into action organizing a flash mob in front of the Grandmaster’s Palace, choreographed to the tune of a traditional għana with a modern twist.

Unexpected Hero: The Silent Observer

While this whirlwind of peculiarities unfolded, a silent observer, Fondue the cat, whisked away the mistakenly switched ballots and restored them to their rightful boxes. This small act of feline intervention allowed the vote to continue, much to the relief of Bernard Grech, who, upon learning of Fondue’s heroism, declared, “Mela, in the future we shall have a cat as the electoral commissioner!”

Conclusion: The Grand Celebration

As night fell on the island, and the Maltese recovered from their emotion-filled day, the votes were tallied. Traditionalists and revolutionaries alike waited with bated breath. Finally, the results were in – the people had spoken, and round ġbejniet triumphed. Festoons lit up, laughter filled the air, and the Maltese heartily celebrated their love for heritage, democracy, and most of all, wonderfully unsquare cheese.

And so, dear readers of the ‘Times of Mela,’ we learn that in Malta, elections are not just about seats and power. They’re an excuse for a commotion, a reason to unite over shared absurdities, and to remember that every vote and every voice, no matter how small or whiskered, counts in the grand, delightful tapestry of Maltese life.

Uwejja, what a day it was!