Malta Enterprise Strikes Gold with George Gregory, the Accidental Genius

Qormi’s Quirky Quest for Economic Revolution

Uwejja! In a twist that could only happen on our beloved rock, George Gregory – better known to his pals as Ġorġ il-Qabru for his inexplicable hobby of collecting antique doorknobs – has been catapulted from his tranquil life in Qormi to the grandiose seat at Malta Enterprise. Why? Because who better to unlock the potential of Maltese innovation than a man who’s unlocked every door in Mdina, metaphorically speaking.

The Unbelievable Upturn of Events

It all started when Ġorġ’s collection of knobs garnered unexpected international interest, catching the eye of a clandestine society of knob enthusiasts. This society, known as ‘The Turners,’ came all the way to Malta, mistaking our Ġorġ’s fondness for doorknobs as an allegorical prowess for turning around economic misfortunes. Mela, before you could say “pastizzi,” George Gregory was shaking hands and signing papers he barely understood.

Rabbit Stew & Boardroom Brew

The first order of business? George took the entire board of Malta Enterprise on a cultural immersion trip – and by that, I mean a long lunch in a Gozitan farmhouse with copious plates of traditional rabbit stew and enough ħobż biż-żejt to feed a football team. Afterwards, bolstered by the courage only a bottle of local wine can provide, George outlined his strategy which, to the bewilderment of all, included refurbishing the famous Azure Window into, get this, a colossal doorknob monument.

“Every time we miss a business opportunity, we’ll turn the knob,” George explained with an unintentional philosophical musing that left the committee oddly inspired.

Valletta’s Vehement Voices

The Reaction of the Masses

As word spread, the Valletta gossip circles erupted with opinions. Ms. Zammit, owner of the most popular tea shop in Valletta, nearly choked on her tea laughing:

“George Gregory running Malta Enterprise? That’s as believable as a tourist refusing a Ftira! But, if he distributes free doorknobs, I’m all for it! We need to spice up our doors in our capital.”

The streets buzzed with talk of George’s unprecedented promotion. Popular social media influeza (that’s not a typo, dear readers) Zebbuga Zina tweeted:

“#DoorknobDiplomacy is trending, folks! George Gregory turns heads as well as knobs!”

Plot Twist: A Stroke of Luck or a Masterstroke?

Just when we thought things couldn’t get more curious, George Gregory unveiled his true plan. Networking through ‘The Turners,’ he managed to secure a bizarre yet potentially lucrative deal. Malta was to become the world’s leading supplier of luxury doorknobs, with artisan designs featuring the Maltese cross and miniaturized renditions of famous landmarks.

“Economic diversification, that’s the key… or should I say, knob?” chuckled George at his own pun during a press conference, held, fittingly, in front of the Knights’ armor displays in the grand halls of the President’s Palace.

Overnight, the stocks of doorknob manufacturing companies soared (who knew we even had those?), and Malta’s youth found a renewed sense of pride in their door-opening heritage.

A Bold Future Awaits

George Gregory – A Visionary in Disguise?

In the most peculiar of circumstances, George Gregory, has become a household name. It remains to be seen whether this ‘knobissance’ will lead Malta to economic prosperity, but one thing is for certain – never again will a doorknob be turned in this country without a nod to George Gregory, the man who transcended the jests to potentially become Malta’s most unexpected visionary.

“Come on, let’s give the guy a chance. Kollox jista’ jiġri, everything can happen, as we love to say here. Plus, my nan always says the best pastry is one with a twist, so maybe the same goes for CEOs!” laughed a local vendor, shrugging his shoulders as he handed out freshly baked pastizzi to the intrigued crowd gathered around George Gregory’s newest doorknob installation in Sliema.

So, with bated breath, we watch as George Gregory puts his hand to the doorknob of Malta’s future. Will it be a golden age or just golden brass? Stay tuned to ‘Times of Mela’ for all the satirical scoops!