Justice Minister miffed but does not use power to request probe into ‘irresponsible’ magistrate

Oh Malta, My Malta

In the sunny lanes of Valletta, a bustling city known for its history and pastizzi, there was an unexpected brouhaha causing a stir unlike any other. It was a rivalry that not even the most seasoned ħobż biż-żejt vendor could mediate. The battle of wits and wills involved the ever-so-dignified Justice Minister, Salvu Testaferrata, and the ‘rock star’ of magistrates, Dr. Agatha Cini, known in the halls of the law courts for her unorthodox methods and her affinity for imqaret more than legal briefs.

The Gavel Drops

It all kicked off when Dr. Cini decided to dismiss a case that had the local gossip mills churning faster than a spinning ġbejna. The case involving an alleged stolen statue of Santa Marija from the serene Mdina, which some claim did miracles like making the Qormi football team win matches. Uwejja! In her verdict, Dr. Cini cited that the statue was only seeking a change of scenery after being cooped up in the same niche for centuries, thus no theft occurred.

This seemed like a judgement ripped straight out of a carnival jest, and Minister Testaferrata was left with more wrinkles on his forehead than the Lascaris War Rooms. But despite his power to request an investigation into this ‘irresponsible’ behavior, Salvu maintained an eerie silence, simply muttering “Mela” under his breath. Rumors buzzed that he was doing all in his power not to call for a probe into Dr. Cini’s decision, citing an old friendship that began over shared Gozitan ftira during university days.

“I will not wash our dirty laundry in public,” declared Salvu Testaferrata during a mockumentary-style interview, while solemnly biting into a pastizz. “Justice must be blind, though occasionally I wish it could also be mute.”

A Plot Twist in the Rabat Sunset

Dr. Cini was unfazed by the mounting criticism and instead decided to double down on her celebrity status among the justice community. She held a press conference at Dingli Cliffs, with the setting sun casting a whimsical glow on her spectacle. But as fate would have it, an unexpected guest crashed the event – a sheepish looking thief lugging behind the very statue of Santa Marija that sparked the controversy.

“Turns out, the statue was actually stolen,” the thief admitted on live TV, upending Dr. Cini’s earlier ruling. “Found out it won’t guarantee winning lottery numbers, so I’m returning it, uwejja! Makes more sense to put it back and order a plate of rabbit stew instead.”

The crowd gasped. Dr. Agatha Cini, with her equilibrium as unshaken as the Mosta Dome, simply shrugged and nonchalantly quipped, “Kollox jgħaddi,” before asking the thief if he’d fancy some timpana after the rabbit stew.

Conclusion: The Aftermath of the Statuesque Shenanigans

Post the statue’s return, the Justice Minister was nowhere to be found, having taken a personal day to contemplate life while kayaking around Comino. It was reported that he texted Dr. Cini with the message “All’s well that ends well?” and Dr. Cini responded, true to her carefree nature, “Ħallina from all this hal-bajd (nonsense) and let’s have a fenkata instead.” And so, in an unexpected twist, the case of the traveling statue ended not with a bang, but with an invitation to dine on scrumptious Maltese rabbit stew.

The Times of Mela readers were left to ponder the grand mysteries of life, such as whether a statue might win the next football match or if the two legal luminaries would let bygones be ħobż biż-żejt. As always, Malta, the jewel of the Mediterranean, remains a place where intrigue and humor walk arm-in-arm down its narrow, sun-kissed streets.