Exclusive Leak: Maltese Prime Minister Revealed to Be Time-Traveler With Vitals Inquiry Sneak Peek

The Startling Revelation

In an unprecedented twist of events, opposition leader Emanuel Gonzi has dropped the għaġeb claim that the Maltese Prime Minister, the Honorable Dr. Vincent Tabib, isn’t just leading the country into a brighter future, but might also be navigating through time! According to Gonzi, this would explain how the Prime Minister “already has access to the still-pending Vitals inquiry” – and a whole bunch of other mysteries, like always missing the notorious Valletta traffic jam by just a minute.

A Weekend in Mdina: The Time-Traveling Hotspot

Could Mdina’s narrow, silent streets hold the secret to time travel? Reports have emerged of Dr. Tabib being spotted strolling through the ancient city right before major political shifts occur, whispering to the famed Mdina Ditch cats, who are now suspected accomplices in his temporal escapades. Uwejja, imagine! Cats conspiring with politicians – that is, if you can even conceive of such a thing.

Gozo Gazette’s Grain of Salt: Satirical Confirmation

The Gozo Gazette, not one to shy away from conspiracies, recently published an expose featuring a blurry photograph of what they claim is the Prime Minister’s DeLorean parked next to the Ċittadella. The caption? “Time-Flies in Gozo: Prime Minister’s Secret Sorted?”

“What better island to house a time machine than one already stuck in a different era?” the article cheekily proposed, sparking outrage, chuckles, and a sudden increase in tourism from curious conspiracy enthusiasts.

Tales from the Time-Traveling Tikka: Ħobż biż-Żejt Disruption

During a seaside luncheon at Marsaxlokk, a fisherman named Spiru allegedly overheard the Prime Minister discussing how he’d avoided the ħobż biż-żejt shortage of ’22. “I just popped over to 2019 and stocked up,” he chuckled, oblivious to the dropped jaws around him.

Interactive Confessions: WhatsApp Leaks and Fishy Business

Adding more intrigue, a series of WhatsApp messages have inexplicably made their way to the ‘Times of Mela’ offices. In one such message, the Prime Minister is said to have sent a selfie with the caption, “Chillin’ with Ġgantija Temples b4 they were cool #TimeTravelPerks.”

Unexpected Plot Twist: A Stew of Secrets

And the revelations keep on coming! Culinary experts have begun questioning whether the Prime Minister’s rabbit stew recipe – which inexplicably includes ingredients from a yet-to-be-discovered plant species – isn’t proof enough of his chronological capers.

The People’s Verdict: A Satire-Fueled Frenzy

This story, with all its absurdities, has sparked a nationwide debate filled with humor, skepticism, and a touch of kollox jista’ jkun (anything is possible). As the people of Malta try to make sense of this wild tale, satirical betting pools have emerged. The odds-on favorite? That the Prime Minister will next reveal the secret location of the Fountain of Youth hidden beneath the docks of Sliema.

Final Say: A Twist of Lime or Reality?

As the island buzzes with this possibly tall tale, one question remains: Is the Prime Minister actually a time-traveling maverick with premature access to state secrets, or is this just a masterfully crafted satirical spin from the ‘Times of Mela’? Mela, with humor as our compass and truth as our anchor, we’ll let you be the judge of that!

*All reports in this article are fictitious and for entertainment purposes only, lest we stumble upon a real time machine and have to eat our words (which would probably taste like a timeless pastizz).