When Pigeons Plot: The Great Sliema Bird Heist

The Feathered Bandits of Triq ix-Xatt

It was a typical sunny afternoon in Sliema, with tourists strolling along Triq ix-Xatt, enjoying the sea breeze and the occasional ħobż biż-żejt from a nearby vendor. Little did they know that an elite flock of cunning pigeons, led by the notorious Briffa ta’ l-Għadira, had been eyeing the tourists’ treats with a plot twistier than the narrowest of Mdina’s streets.

Briffa, with feathers slicker than a well-oiled pastizz, had been quietly observing the habits of locals and tourists alike, learning schedules and snatching opportunities. The seafaring birds had tasted the crumbs of the Maltese culinary repertoire and wanted more, much more. But not just any crumbs – they were after the whole pastizz!

A Clumsy Trapper and a Misfired Net

Meanwhile, in Gozo, the unsuspecting Ġużi l-Bormliż, a well-meaning but somewhat inept hunter, had decided that his trapping skills needed new challenges. Heant for Sliema with a net so large it could double as a fisherman’s haul – his target: the pesky pigeons that haunted the promenade.

However, Ġużi’s grand entrance was as graceful as a ġbejna in a dance-off. His net misfired, spectacularly enveloping a bewildered ice cream vendor instead, who, rumor has it, is still scooping out vanilla and pistachio from his pockets to this day.

The Plot Takes Flight

The pigeons, seizing the moment during the commotion, launched their poultry coup. In a move that would make the Knights of St John’s battles look like a friendly game of boċċi, they descended upon the startled onlookers.

“Uwejja, dan x’inhu sorpriża!” (Wow, what a surprise!) exclaimed a tourist, as a pigeon with an artisanal leather satchel swooped down to nab her figolla.

Briffa, sporting a miniature beret to signal his rank, directed his feathered squadron with military precision. The air was a swirling dervish of wings and coos; shoppers ducking and diving as the birds executed their grand larceny. Not a pastizz, ħobża, or slice of fenkata was safe.

The Accidental Hero

In a twist no one saw coming, not even the pigeons in their masterminded scheme, a small Maltese terrier named Ħabib emerged as the unlikely hero. As if on cue from a director of an avant-garde theatre, Ħabib chased the birds with such zeal that they dropped their dough-filled treasures right back into the laps of their bewildered owners.

The Aftermath and a Dog’s Reward

The aftermath saw Sliema breathe a sigh of relief, and Ġużi, now untangled from his trapping escapade, swore to stick to hobby photography instead. The Valletta International Baroque Festival committee reportedly considered adopting the event as a new addition to their programme, but ultimately settled on a less feathery theme.

Ħabib, now hailed as the Guardian of the Pastizzi, was showered with belly rubs and the finest nibbles. In his honor, the annual Sliema Arts Festival introduced a ‘Pawcasso’ category, featuring the best artistic talents among local pets.

The Pigeons Retire

As for Briffa and his avian accomplices, they retired from their life of crime. Rumors swirled they had taken up residence in a quiet nest overlooking the Silent City of Mdina, content to spend their days watching tourists navigate the labyrinthine streets below.

“Kollox ġie f’postu” (Everything fell back into place), the locals would say with a chuckle, unknowingly passing the masterminds of the Great Sliema Bird Heist as they nibbled on remnants of a once stolen pastizz.

And so, life on the archipelago returned to its tranquil rhythm, with only the occasional cooing of pigeons to remind Sliema’s residents of the day the birds tried to take over the town – and of the four-legged furry hero who saved their snacks.

‘Times of Mela’ invites readers to share their own tales of feathered mayhem or pet heroism on our website, because mela, everyone has a story worth cooing over.