The Tale of Karmenu and the Unlikely Conservationist

One Fateful Morning in Sliema

It was your typical sunny morning in Sliema, with the promenade buzzing with joggers, old folks feeding pigeons, and – our protagonist – Karmenu, preparing for a day of ‘conservation work.’ Karmenu had a reputation that could make a rabbit sprint for its life at the mere mention of his name. Uwejja, you must understand, this fella was as well-known as a ħobż biż-żejt vendor during village festas.

Having just devised the latest in a long line of contraptions for trapping, he set off with optimism plastered across his face. Little did he know, a quirky twist of fate was about to turn his hunting dreams into something straight out of an environmentalist’s diary!

The Great Green Intervention

It all started when out-of-work actor, Dionisju, decided to take a method acting approach for an upcoming role as a conservationist. Our Peppi (let’s not beat around the bush, Dionisju’s stage name had more pizzazz) embraced the part by marching straight into Karmenu’s urban ‘hunting grounds.’

In a theatrical display, complete with exaggerated gestures and a dramatic monologue, Peppi began to ‘educate’ Karmenu on the fragility of Malta’s ecosystems – right there between the seaside gelato stall and a group of bewildered tourists. Karmenu, convinced he was witnessing some avant-garde street performance, found himself bewilderedly nodding along.

Peppi (yelling to the heavens): B’dawn it-tiġiġiet (with these birds), we must harmoniously coexist lest we become the destroyers of all that is pure and winged!

A Change of Heart?

But then, something clicked in Karmenu, perhaps due to Peppi’s impassioned portrayal or a pastizzi he had that was past its best – who could tell? Mela, Karmenu started contemplating his life choices right there by the shimmering Mediterranean.

By the stroke of noon, Karmenu made an announcement that sent shockwaves through the ‘hunting’ community, echoing all the way to Gozo. He’d swap his traps for binoculars, becoming Malta’s self-proclaimed ‘guardian of the skies.’

A Turn for the Bizarre in Mdina

Act One: The Pigeon Plot
In a move that left the locals scratching their heads, Karmenu decided Mdina, the Silent City, was the perfect spot for his debut. He dove into ornithology with the same fervor he used to reserve for less eco-friendly pursuits.

Act Two: Bird Calls and Confusion
His first attempt at birdwatching involved imitating bird calls. This resulted in a comedic spectacle where Karmenu’s screeches echoed off the Mdina bastions, attracting more wayward tourists than feathered friends.

Karmenu (in his best version of a Merill, or Blue Rock Thrush’s song): Peep-peep-peewo, hmmmmmm… Come out, come out, wherever you are!

Act Three: Flightless Feathers
As luck would have it, it was during this ‘performance’ that a confused flock of pigeons decided to land on Karmenu, perhaps seeing him as a living statue. The spectacle turned viral, as did the man himself – the newest and most unwitting bird magnet.

Karmenu’s Legacy

The tale of Karmenu’s transformation from notorious trapper to bird whisperer took a place of honor in Maltese folklore. Every now and then, you’ll find him at a local eatery, refusing a plate of rabbit stew, opting instead for ħobż biż-żejt – albeit with a careful check for any rogue feathers.

So, the next time you’re in Valletta, watching the majestic cannons being fired, keep an ear out for the unexpected call of a man who once coveted the trap, but now only wishes to whisper sweet nothings to the birds of Malta. And that, dear readers, is a twist worth perching on a lamp post for, just like the Merill during Festa fireworks. Mela, isn’t life just one big birdwatching session after all?

– Reported by Benny il-Birder, Times of Mela Correspondent