The Maltese Falconry Fiasco: A Tale of Tweeters and Tweeting

Introducing the Characters of our Maltese Menagerie

Meet Spiridione, the most renowned yet eccentricValletta falconer whose birds were better at chirping than catching. Always in tow with his trusty tweety – a falcon named Federica with an appetite for ħobż biż-żejt, rather than prey.

Then there’s his long-time rival from Gozo, Ċikku, whose hairless cat, Smeagol, had developed an unusual hobby – bird watching. Gozo being smaller, news traveled fast about Ċikku’s cat-cum-ornithologist who preferred binoculars to brawling with birds.

A Plight in Mdina

Our tale begins when Spiridione is invited to showcase his falconry skills at Mdina’s annual Medieval Festival. Eager to impress, he concocts a secret plan to integrate modern technology into his act.

Techno-Falcons: The New Age of Hunting

Spiridione fits Federica with the latest in VR technology – goggles displaying tweets of rare birds to chase. His rationale? If he can’t teach her to hunt like a pro, maybe she can at least learn to “twitter” like one.

“People of Mdina, prepare to be amazed by my falcon’s incredible prowess … and her social media engagement!” declared a confident Spiridione.

The Rival’s Gambit

News about Spiridione’s techno-falconry reached Ċikku, who decided to take matters into his own hands. He began training Smeagol to trap these birds by following their GPS signals instead of their feathery tails.

Ċikku smirked. “Who needs hunting skills when you’ve got hacking skills? Right, Smeagol?”

The Day of the Feathered Feud

The crowd gathered at Mdina’s bastions, baskets of pastizzi in hand, waiting for the medieval spectacle to begin. Spiridione released Federica, who zoomed around with VR goggles, chasing imaginary tweets instead of real birds.

Plot Twists Galore

Just as the act seems to be a grand flop, Smeagol the cat decides to join in. To the crowd’s astonishment, the bird-watching feline starts streaming live footage of Federica’s VR shenanigans on social media, under the account name @MalteseHunter.

The spectacle becomes a viral sensation. Locals and tourists alike are glued to their screens, watching Federica collide into aerial signposts and chase after digital sparrows projected onto the city walls.

A Surprise Turn

As the hilarity peaks, a true miracle unfolds. Federica, inspired by her pixelated prey, takes off her VR set mid-air and, to everyone’s disbelief, catches an actual bird!

The crowd erupts in joy with shouts of “Mela!” and “Uwejja, that’s unbelievable!” Spontaneously, citizens begin a chant, likening the falcon’s VR goggles to the notorious building cranes that riddle the Maltese skyline, comparing their inability to see the heritage around them.

A Happy, Hilarious Ending

In the end, Spiridione and Ċikku, both humbled by their pets’ newfound stardom, decide to team up, promoting a new kind of environmentally-friendly falconry that uses drones to simulate bird behavior for Federica’s training.

And thus, Malta’s first Falconry Tech-Ed Center was born, with Federica as its tweety ambassador, and Smeagol live-tweeting from the sidelines.

The Maltese Falconry Fiasco: Conclusion

It turns out that traditions too can evolve and sometimes all it takes is a falcon with a knack for VR and a cat with an affinity for tweeters. Kollox is well that ends well – or should we say, kollox is well that tweets well?

Be sure to follow @MalteseHunter for the latest chirps and battery-powered bird escapades breaching the gap between medieval heritage and modern hysterics, right here on our splendid little island. Taħseb huh?