Gozitan MP Cries Foul Over Electricity Tag-Of-War

Ek, a storm has been brewing across the Strait, and it’s not just the sort you see with lightning and thunder. It’s Zarb, a staunch Gozitan MP, who’s thrown the gauntlet down, claiming Enemalta’s been treating his beloved Gozitans like the step-children of Malta when it comes to electricity!

Uwejja, the trouble kicked off at a Parliament session in Valletta, where Zarb accused Enemalta of playing a game of “Flick the Switch” with Gozo’s power supply. “Every time there’s a festa or a breath of wind, we Gozitans are eating our ħobż biż-żejt by candlelight,” lamented the outraged MP, while munching on a pastizz to drive home his point.

Zarb’s Thunderous Speech

“Why should Gozitans suffer when Valletta gets all the glitz and Mdina the wall of silence? It’s time Enemalta charges up their act. We demand equal sparks for all!” exclaimed Zarb, raising a fist that accidentally knocked over his glass of Kinnie.

His flamboyant gestures and impassioned pleas were met with a mix of applause, eye-rolls, and a cleanup crew for the spilled beverage.

The Plot Twists: Enemalta’s ‘Shocking’ Secret

But mela, hold onto your ġbejniet, ’cause things got even weirder. A whistleblower from within Enemalta leaked a secret document titled “Operation Tas-Sinjali,” which described a clandestine plan to “test the resilience and resourcefulness of Gozitans through strategic power outages.” You can’t make this stuff up, folks!

Enemalta’s Official Response

“We categorically deny categorically participating in ‘Operation Tas-Sinjali’. Our commitment is to provide quality, uninterrupted supply of electricity to all Malteses and Gozitans alike,” stated Enemalta’s spokesperson, whose nose grew a little after the statement.

Gozitans Take Charge

But Gozitans wouldn’t stay shtum. They rolled up their sleeves (metaphorically; it’s too hot for long sleeves in Malta) and came up with a plan. Led by Zarb, they launched “Enerġija Għawdxija,” a bold project involving a giant hamster wheel in the middle of Victoria that would generate electricity as tourists powered it in return for free ħobż biż-żejt sandwiches.

The twist? It was an instant hit! Tourists loved the “authentic Maltese workout,” and with so many influencers Instagramming their “hamstercise,” Gozo’s power problems were history, and they were even exporting energy back to Malta—in the form of fit and happy tourists.

The Final Spark

To sweeten the victory, during Gozo’s grand festa to celebrate their electrifying success, Zarb unveiled a statue of himself clutching a lightning bolt, but due to a wiring mishap (courtesy of Enemalta?), the statue became an impromptu fireworks display.

All said and done, Gozo remains lit, tourists are fitter than ever, and Enemalta’s been left to ponder the power of Gozitan ingenuity. And as for Zarb? Well, he’s already onto his next battle: an island-wide ban on “annoying tourists’ drones.” But that’s a tale for another day.

Kollox joking aside, as the hamsters keep spinning, Gozitans are certainly not in the dark anymore, lighting up the way forward, quite literally. The tale of Zarb’s battle against Enemalta’s ‘current’ affairs will surely be told for generations. Maybe they should consider hiring him as a consultant for contingency plans or at least for an energetic workout routine!