The Unbelievable Adventures of a Diplomatic Passport

Chapter 1: In the Streets of Valletta

Once upon a sun-drenched day in the bustling streets of Valletta, Wistin, a retired pigeon trainer, stumbled upon what appeared to be an unassuming brown envelope. Little did he know, this envelope contained a diplomatic passport belonging to none other than the controversial ex-political figure, Joseph Muscat. “Uwejja! What’s this?” Wistin exclaimed, his curiosity piqued as much as his hunger for a midday pastizz.

Chapter 2: The Discoveries of Wistin

Wistin, whose eyesight wasn’t what it used to be (thanks to a life spent squinting at homing pigeons), squinted down at the passport with all the bewilderment of a tourist trying to pronounce ‘Ħobż biż-żejt.’ Flipping through the pages filled with stamps from countries he could barely pronounce, Wistin had an epiphany. “Mela, if I’ve got this geezer’s passport, does that mean I can travel with immunity and order room service to my heart’s content? Kollox included?” he mumbled to himself.

Chapter 3: The Plot Thickens

In the heat of the moment, Wistin, who now felt like the king of Mdina, met with his old friend Carmelita in the shade of St. John’s Co-Cathedral. Carmelita, a retired gossip columnist who believed a good story was better than rabbit stew, perked up at the sight of Muscat’s diplomatic essentials. “Wistin, my dear, this is the jackpot! Imagine the freebies and perks you could bask in!” she cackled, rubbing her hands together.

“Hmm,” Wistin pondered, “I could finally visit Gozo without paying for the ferry, and the Gozitans would treat me like royalty!” A mischievous grin took over his face, a grin that hadn’t been seen since he won the Great Pigeon Race of 1972.

Chapter 4: The Social Media Fiasco

Carmelita: Just had afternoon tea with Wistin. We’ve hatched a plan to rule the world… or at least the ferry to Gozo. #DiplomaticDilemmas #Perks #GozoRoyalty

The tweet went viral faster than you could say “fenkata.” Within hours, everyone from Zebbug to Zurrieq had an opinion about the passport scandal brewing in the heart of the capital.

Chapter 5: An Unexpected Twist

But lo and behold, before Wistin could even pack his suitcase, a sudden revelation from an anonymous source (a disgruntled postman who wasn’t fond of pigeons) revealed the passport was actually a prop from the set of an upcoming political satire movie titled “Passport to Puzzlement.”

Chapter 6: The Climactic Resolution

Torn between disappointment and relief, Wistin decided to partake in one last adventure. Joined by Carmelita, he embarked on a mock-diplomatic tour, hosted by the film’s director who had taken great amusement from Wistin’s short-lived escapade. Together, they toured the Maltese Islands, savoring ħobż biż-żejt and recounting tales of their misadventure with hearty laughter and smiles all around.

Chapter 7: Epilogue

In the end, Wistin returned to his beloved pigeons, never forgetting the day he felt like a globe-trotting diplomat. Carmelita penned a best-selling novel about their adventure, and the diplomatic passport was safely returned to its rightful place on the movie set, its journey recorded for posterity. As for the real Joseph Muscat, his benefits remained untouched, nestled safely in the arms of bureaucracy.

Closing Words

The tale of Wistin and his brush with diplomatic privilege became a cautionary fable, often re-told underneath the golden Maltese sun. It was a story of friendship, ambition, and the whimsical dance of fate — seasoned heavily with humor and sprinkled with a dash of satirical spice.

And with a laugh and a shrug, they all lived happily ever after, echoing the Maltese sentiment: “Darba waħda, ma tagħmilx ħsara” — Once is no harm.