The Mdina Misadventure of Baldassare’s Bovine Bonanza

Chapter One: The Improbable Pasture

Once upon a sun-soaked afternoon in the serpentine streets of Mdina, Baldassare, a local farmer whose mustache was as lush as the fields of Gozo, made a discovery that no one could have foreseen, not even the old-timers sipping on their te fit-tazza at the village kazin. As he meandered through the ancient city’s quiet alleyways, a faint mooing stirred in the distance. Baldassare shrugged it off; surely, it was the echoes of ħobż biż-żejt-induced daydreams. But lo! As he turned the corner by the grand Bastion Square, there stood a cow, grazing atop the fortified walls, a sight so bizarre it made the famed Ġgantija temples seem like feeble sandcastles.

“Uwejja, how on earth did you get up here, you silly creature?” Baldassare gasped, staring at the cow who chewed nonchalantly in response.

Chapter Two: The Night of the Karozzin Caper

The plot, much like a Gozitan shepherd’s yarn, thickened. That very evening, as the stars danced above the harbours of Valletta, a spectacle unfolded. Baldassare, determined to return the bovine interloper to greener pastures, enlisted the help of a dashing karozzin driver named Salvu, whose horse, a sprightly mare named Rita, had a fondness for rabbit stew that bordered on legendary.

As the clock struck midnight, a clandestine operation unfolded. With Salvu’s karozzin parked at the base of the walls, Baldassare attempted to coax the cow down with the promise of the juiciest pastizzi this side of the Meditarren. But much to their chagrin, the cow had acquired a taste for the scenic views and simply refused. The night wore on, and the plot took a turn for the absurd as they rigged a pulley system using boat ropes sourced from a sleepy fisherman from Marsaxlokk.

Chapter Three: When Social Media Cows

The next morning, Baldassare’s bovine predicament went viral as tourists snapped photos faster than they could devour a sun-ripened ġbejna. The “#MdinaMooMystery” took social media by storm, igniting a nationwide debate that ranged from the origins of the rogue cow to the state of modern farming methods in Malta.

A Tweet from @MalteseMysteries:

“Is the Mdina cow an ancient guardian spirit? Or just eager for a rooftop ħobż biż-żejt? #MdinaMooMystery #MaltaLegends”

Baldassare, overwhelmed by the sudden attention, found solace in an interview on a popular local parody show, where he spun a tale so outlandish about how the cow might actually be a lost knight from the Great Siege, transformed by an envious sorcerer.

Chapter Four: The Great Escape

The uproar reached a crescendo when, amidst the frenzy, the cow elegantly leaped from the wall and onto the soft top of a passing tourist bus, commandeering it with a nonchalant swish of her tail. Passengers, thinking it part of an immersive historical experience, applauded fervently. Meanwhile, Baldassare and Salvu chased the vehicle on foot, shouting encouragements to Rita, who galloped alongside with surprising enthusiasm for someone motivated primarily by stew.

In an astonishing twist, the cow, named Ġulietta by now, veered the bus towards the ferry terminal. She disembarked gracefully at Ċirkewwa, hitching a ride across the channel and disappearing into the Gozitan countryside. The pursuit ended with a comically heartwarming interview featuring a winded Baldassare, expressing his admiration for Ġulietta’s adventurous spirit.

Much remains uncertain in the saga of Ġulietta the audacious Mdina cow. Some say she’s out there still, seeking the thrills beyond the next ridge, while others claim she returned, sneaking into moonlit feasts and unknowingly photobombing selfies.

The only certainty is that in the annals of Maltese lore, the tale of Baldassare’s Bovine Bonanza will echo through the ages, perhaps served with a side of irony and a dash of kunserva on your morning ftira.

Kollox possibli, dear readers, in the wondrous isle of Malta!