Karmnu’s Karaoke Cataclysm at the Marsaxlokk Fish Festival

Introducting Karmnu the Crooner

It was a sunny Saturday in Marsaxlokk, and the air was as salty as the ħobż biż-żejt in everyone’s picnics. Locals and tourists alike were buzzing for the Fish Festival, where they’d get their fill of lampuki pie and celebrate the island’s love for everything that swims—or at least, used to swim. There was music, dance, and a karaoke competition that was ready to have everyone either clapping or cringing. This was “Karmnu’s Karaoke Cataclysm.”

At the heart of it all was Karmnu, a forty-something fishmonger with a strong set of lungs and a moustache that could snorkel on its own. He lived his life flanked by fish but dreamed of being Malta’s answer to Frank Sinatra—despite sounding like a strangled ċiefa. Oh, and his real name was Carmel, but he thought ‘Karmnu’ had more pizzazz.

The Historical Hub of Hilarity

Now, Mdina’s Silent City may be quiet, but Karmnu’s vocal stylings had disrupted the peace all the way to Gozo. On karaoke night, beneath the bright festa lights next to the St. Lucian’s Tower, Karmnu took the stage with the confidence of a knight from the Order of St. John. He hit the button on the karaoke machine and… nothing. Silence. The crowd muttered, “Uwejja, mela?!” in collective disappointment.

Unsung Hero

Out of nowhere, Wistin, the local tech whiz who could fix anything from a broken heart to a toaster, sprang to action. By some miracle involving duct tape and a potato—don’t ask—Wistin got the music flowing again. Karmnu belted out an off-tune rendition of ‘O Sole Mio,’ but here was the twist: everyone thought it was part of the act!

“That Karmnu, his voice is like the honking of a Gozo ferry, but bless his heart, he’s got spirit!” exclaimed Maureen, a tourist from Sliema.

An Unexpected Turn of Events

Partway through his performance, however, Karmnu’s warbling reached such a pitch that it sent the local seagulls into frenzy. The birds swarmed the stage and snatched at his gleaming moustache, perhaps mistaking it for a well-garnished tuna. Amidst the chaos, a seagull snatched the karaoke mic and accidentally revealed a beautiful, haunting melody. Who knew seagulls could sing—or was it the spirit of an old Maltese fisherman?

The Aftermeffett

The festival ended on a high note, quite literally, and Karmnu’s ego surfaced unscathed, like an agitated Medusa jellyfish. He didn’t win the karaoke contest, but he did win the title of ‘Most Memorable Performance,’ which, in Malta, is almost as good as the gold itself.

The seagull, now christened ‘Għannej il-Gawwi’ by the locals, became a legend—possibly the first feathered performer ever to outsing a Maltese fishmonger. As for Wistin, his potato-powered repair service became the talk of the island. One thing’s for sure: whether they came for the fish or the fiasco, no one was going to forget this Fish Festival anytime soon.

What’s Next?

• Is Malta ready for “Għannej il-Gawwi” merchandise? The answer is probably!
• Can Karmnu bounce back with a new act, perhaps a mime version of ‘Viva Malta’? Stay tuned to find out!
• Will Wistin’s potato become the island’s new tech symbol? Investor meetings are ongoing.

So, there you have it, the tale of Karmnu’s Karaoke Cataclysm, where fish weren’t the only things caught by surprise. It just goes to show that on this little rock in the Mediterranean, kollox is possible!