Gozo’s Most Eligible Bachelor Auctions Invisible Ħobż biż-Żejt for Charity!

The Auction Begins in Qala

Welcome, dear readers, to yet another rib-tickling edition of ‘Times of Mela,’ where the tales are as tall as the Mosta Dome and twice as shiny! This time, we’re taking you to the quaint village of Qala in Gozo, where the news of the century has hit the streets faster than a tourist chasing down the last ferry of the night.

Our story’s hero, the dashing yet desperately single Tonio Tabib, known for his Mickey Mouse cufflinks and a penchant for talking to his pet goat, Ċensa, has decided to auction off his secret recipe for his infamous invisible ħobż biż-żejt for charity.

Unseen Delicacies and Unheard-of Charity

“Uwejja, I had to do something for the poor strays of Marsalforn, you know,” explains Tonio with a wink, while expertly flipping an invisible sandwich mid-air. “They need all the help they can get, bless their furry souls, and who doesn’t love a bit of invisible food, heh?”

“It’s all for the animals, dearie. Plus, the waistline,” quips Ċensa, who was, believe it or not, granted the gift of speech thanks to a mysterious pastizz-enhanced concoction gone wrong.

The Famed Secret Recipe

The bidding takes place at the legendary Ġgantija temples, draped in fairy lights and the overwhelming smell of…well, nothing because the food is invisible! The crowd is bursting with local celebs such as the great grandnephew of Dun Karm and the most sought-after ftira chef in St. Julian’s.

Curiosity Spikes and Wallets Open

As the auctioneer starts, wallets snap open like għonq it-Torċa after a rainstorm. Bids fly in thick and fast like fireworks at the Santa Marija feast. The price rockets from five euros to five hundred quicker than a local bus on a downhill sprint.

“I haven’t seen this much excitement since they found three unclaimed Twistees packets at the Saint Paul’s Bay lido,” whispers an excitable tourist, recording every moment on her potato-quality camera.

The Scandalous Climax in Mdina

Just as it seems Tonio’s charity jackpot is set to exceed the GDP of a small country, a scandal erupts! It turns out the invisible ħobż biż-żejt recipe is actually nothing but Mediterranean air.

Ċensa’s Startling Confession

Under the immense guilt brought about by a third biscuit she wasn’t supposed to eat, Ċensa bleats out the truth. The gasps from the crowd could’ve refilled the Gozo Channel ferry’s fuel tank!

“Who would’ve thought air could be so expensive, right?” jokes Tonio, trying to defuse the bubbling crowd with his trademark charm.

Surprising Turn of Events

But wait, dear readers, there’s a twist you didn’t see coming! A mysterious elderly woman, known only as in-Nanna tal-Qamar (The Moon’s Grandma), steps forward with a blurry photograph of what appears to be the ACTUAL invisible sandwich – it’s believed to be hidden somewhere within the historic alleyways of Valletta.

Treasure Hunt Time!

So now, the Maltese Islands are abuzz with a whacky treasure hunt where pointing at thin air is not only acceptable but strongly encouraged. The promise of a real invisible ħobż biż-żejt has everyone from burly karozzin drivers to street-savvy street vendors scouring the capital for a chance to own the most paradoxical piece of culinary history ever.

“Mela, who’s ready for an adventure?!” yells a thrilled tourist guide, throwing his meticulously planned tour schedule into the wind.

Only in Malta…

As this absolutely bonkers event draws to an inevitable close and the sounds of the għana singers fade into a warm Mediterranean night, we’re reminded once again that only on these lovely limestone rocks can one find such beautiful absurdity.

Whether chasing elusive recipes or simply enjoying a tall tale with a tangy twist, mela friends, life in Malta is never dull, never invisible, and kollox, always served with a generous dollop of hilarity.

Until the next time Ċensa speaks or Gozo somehow gets a subway system, this has been the ‘Times of Mela,’ bidding you all saħħa and happy hunting.