Unprecedented Political Upset in Fishing Village
Uwejja! In what can only be described as a whirlwind of bizarre political manoeuvring, Marsaxlokk, the picturesque fishing village known for its colourful luzzus and succulent lampuki pies, has crowned a new leader – and it’s none other than, hold your pastizzis, a donkey named Karrott.
The election was an absolute circus, with candidates promising everything from free ħobż biż-żejt for life to a 24/7 festa. But it was Karrott, the affable four-legged candidate, who brayed his way into the hearts of locals.
Meet Karrott: From Field to Mayor’s Office
Legend has it that Karrott was no ordinary donkey. Born on the cliffs of Dingli, a whisper in the alleys of Mdina claimed he was the direct descendant of the famed donkey that carried Grand Master La Vallette during the Great Siege. And now, after his unprecedented win, one might begin to believe such tall tales.
A Donkey’s Promise
Karrott’s platform was simple yet ambitious: more haystacks, better bridleways, and the promise of a carrot in every pot. His slogan? “Vote for Karrott, because hay, why not?” People chuckled, people voted, a donkey won. Mela!
The Campaign Trail: A Path of Laughter and Confusion
Karrott’s campaign trail was as rocky as the streets of Valletta before they got a smoother revamp. His speeches, consisting mainly of hearty ‘eeyores,’ somehow resonated more than the hollow promises of two-legged politicians.
“I never thought I’d vote for a donkey – but then I realized, he can’t be any worse than the rest,” said a Gozitan expat, making his mark next to Karrott’s smiling, long-eared silhouette on the ballot paper.
Plot Twist: A Donkey to Clean up the Streets?
It turned out that Karrott had a grand plan – to tackle one of Malta’s most talked-about problems: traffic congestion. With his council composed of other four-legged advisors including a plucky pony named Prinċipessa and a goat named Ġbejniet, they aim to introduce a fleet of donkey-driven carts to replace cars, starting in Marsaxlokk. Locals believed it was “either genius or madness – probabbli the second,” but they were willing to give it a try.
Interactive Elements: Hear from the Hoof (not Horse)’s Mouth
As part of our interactive coverage, ‘Times of Mela’ invited the public to participate in a ‘bray-along’ with Karrott via a Facebook Live event. Missy, the mischievous Maltese Terrier, served as the interpreter for those not fluent in donkey-speak.
Public Re
Public Reaction to a Four-Hooved Mayor
With a wag of her tail and a tilt of her head, Missy translated the raucous brays:
“I bray, therefore I am. Karrott is here to serve all of Marsaxlokk, not just the donkey demographic. Together, let’s turn over a new leaf… or better yet, a new hay bale!”
The clip immediately went viral, sparking a hashtag #BrayForMayor that had everyone from Sliema to Żebbuġ posting videos of their support (and their best donkey impressions).
The Inauguration Ceremony: A Festive Fiasco
The inauguration was no less of a hoopla. Karrott trotted down the promenade bedecked with Maltese flags and flowers, as locals flung fenkata (rabbit stew) confetti into the air. The decision to skip traditional pyrotechnics was mutual, considering Karrott’s stance on loud noises.
He was sworn in beside the Marsaxlokk parish church, his hoof resting on a pile of the finest straw money could buy. The outgoing mayor, bewildered at his own defeat to a donkey, presented Karrott with the chain of office, which was immediately chewed on as a sign of acceptance.
What’s Next for Marsaxlokk: The Donkey’s Agenda
On his first day in office, Karrott signed an executive order to declare an annual Donkey Day. The festivities promise to rival the likes of Carnival, with karozzin rides, donkey races, and a ‘Guess the Number of Carrots in the Cart’ contest.
But beyond the festivities, Karrott aims to transform Marsaxlokk into Malta’s first Eco-Friendly Fishing Village. His first act? To invest in an all-donkey cleanup crew to tackle the jellyfish menace
to tackle the jellyfish menace, citing that their surplus of braying could scare off the invasive species or at least make them think twice about hanging around the bay.
The Hurdles Ahead: From Sceptics to Supporters
Not everyone was ready to jump on the bandwagon, though. Criticisms as stubborn as mules started to surface. Detractors claimed they couldn’t take a political figure seriously if they couldn’t navigate a roundabout without guidance. But, kollox possibli with Karrott at the helm – or so his supporters claimed.
Marsaxlokk’s local council meetings now featured ample supplies of apples and straw, and motions were passed with a show of hooves rather than hands. The minutes were a bit messier, but democracy had never been so… organic.
Expats Embrace the Eeyore Excitement
Expats in Malta were particularly intrigued by the election result. “I moved to Malta for the sun and sea,” said Jen, from the UK, “but I stayed for the donkey democracy. It’s better than any soap opera back home!”
Marsaxlokk’s New Era: Sustainability and Carrots
Karrott, in his mayoral debut speech (brilliantly lip-synced by Missy), outlined plans to promote sustainable tourism. He encouraged visitors to swap out their car hires for a day on a donkey cart, complete with a ħobż biż-żejt picnic basket, local ġbejniet, and a flask of Kinnie to wash it all down.
As Marsaxlokk prepared for its first donkey-led town council, the local restaurants decided to concoct a new dish in honour of the occasion. It featured a vegetarian stew, whimsically named ‘Karrott-in-a-Pot’, now vying to be as beloved as the iconic pastizzi.
The Future is Bright: And It Brays
It’s been said that the rest of the island is keeping a close eye on Marsaxlokk. If Karrott’s policies lead to success, the rest of Malta might just follow suit with their own four-legged candidates. Imagine – a cat for councillor in Mdina, a parrot for president in Paceville, or even a squad of savvy seagulls to tackle the waste management portfolio in Valletta!
And so, the tale of Karrott the donkey mayor becomes a saga to watch. Marsaxlokk may just be the first of many towns to embrace a leader who doesn’t just kick up a fuss, but literally kicks up a storm (of laughter).
Stay tuned to ‘Times of Mela’ for more updates as we follow Kar
Stay tuned to ‘Times of Mela’ for more updates as we follow Karrott’s hoofsteps to see if he truly delivers a political landscape where every citizen, no matter how bristly their coat or long their ears, can find their pasture.
Mela, folks, we’ve trotted through today’s story. Whether Karrott’s tenure as mayor will be a steady gallop or a bumpy ride remains to be seen, but one thing is for sure – Marsaxlokk’s political scene has been permanently branded with a hoofprint of change!
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