When the Ġbejna Rolls Away

The Mysterious Disappearance from Sliema’s Shore

Residents of Sliema woke up to a peculiar sight last Tuesday – the coastal town, known for its posh cafes and promenade lined with palm trees, was in a state of shock, and it wasn’t due to a sudden invasion of jellyfish or the controversial disappearance of a parking space. Nay, it was something far more valuable – a giant wheel of ġbejna had vanished!

It was there the previous evening, a promotional stunt by a dairy company combining Malta’s love for oversized objects and traditional cheese. But when the morning sun kissed the shores, all that remained was a note tied to a lamp post with fishing line that read, “Gone rolling. BRB – Ġbejna.”

Valletta’s Vexation and Mdina’s Mystery

Meanwhile, in Malta’s capital of Valletta, the whispers among the suits and selfie-sticks grew louder. There, in front of St John’s Co-Cathedral, tourists were overheard saying they’d caught a glimpse of a glistening cheese wheel hurtling past them, leaving a trail of peppery cheese fragments. They say curiosity killed the cat, but in Malta, it was the viral Twitter posts that really did the work:

Just saw a giant cheese rolling down Republic Street. Is this some local tradition I’ve missed? #WhenInMalta #CheeseChase

That wasn’t the end of it. Over in Mdina, the ancient silent city, a pack of stray cats was seen in a cheese-induced frenzy. Witnesses claim they’ve never seen such feline fervor, not even when the fishmonger drops his catch at Marsaxlokk market!

Twist in Gozo

The plot took a twist when a ferry to Gozo claimed its captain had to swerve, narrowly avoiding a collision with what he referred to as the ‘dairy-fueled torpedo.’ Gozo, always up for a bit of sibling rivalry with the main island, was simultaneously amused and bewildered. Who knew cheese could cause international incidents?

Character Reveal: Leli the Baffled Fisherman

One local, Leli, a fisherman whose luzzu was nearly capsized by the rogue wheel, exclaimed with a bewildered look:

“Mela, what’s with this cheese? I never thought I’d have to dodge dairy at sea! Uwejja, is there no peace?!”

Leli then pulled out his smartphone to show video proof. Leli’s video went viral, featuring a sunburnt man in a wife-beater, flailing his arms as cries of “It’s a UFO – Unidentified Floating Objest!” echoed in the background.

The Plot Curdles

Juża, an entrepreneurial street vendor in Gozo, saw an opportunity. Selling what she claimed to be fragments of the infamous ġbejna wheel that happened to ‘roll’ into her possession. Though one couldn’t help but notice these pieces looked suspiciously like the contents from her regular cheese stand.

“Get your piece of history! The great ġbejna escape! Only five euros for a slice of the action!”

Interactive Social Media Spirals

As #ĠbejnaGate trended, armchair detectives with their pastizzis and hobž biż-żejt started their investigation. Meanwhile, conventional wisdom had turned its focus on the dairy company’s marketing team, wondering whether this publicity stunt was intentional or an unsuspected rolling mishap.

But just as quickly as it had vanished, the cheese wheel reappeared atop the iconic Azure Window remains in Gozo. Yes, you read that right – the same Azure Window that had collapsed into the sea years back had now been adorned with an enormous cheese wheel. The marketing team, it appeared, hadn’t just orchestrated the heist, but had planned the most dramatic reveal in Maltese adultery advertising history.

The Aftermath

Post-#ĠbejnaGate, the dairy company saw skyrocketing sales, Juża had to admit her ‘historical fragments’ were from last week’s stock, and Leli was offered a reality TV show deal chronicling his daily encounters with the ocean’s peculiarities. And as for the residents of Sliema, well, they didn’t get their giant ġbejna back, but the town was now on the global map as the birthplace of the world’s first cheese-wheel promenade pursuit.

Reflecting on the incident, a local politician remarked, “In Malta, even our cheese rolls with flair.”

Ah, Malta, where even the dairy products have a zest for adventure.