The Unlikely Heroes of the EU-West Balkan Summit: A Kunsill Lokali Love Story

The Summit That Stirred the Pot

As the heads of state from the EU and the West Balkans convened in a summit in none other than the bustling capital of Malta, Valletta, little did they know that the island’s proverbial pot of rabbit stew would thicken with more than just local spices. They were set to discuss the “burning” issues of irregular immigration and security; however, Malta had other plans—namely, a few “irregular” emissaries from the Kunsill Lokali (local council) of a quaint town named Ħaż-Żebbuġ.

Amidst the closed meetings and high-level debates, Mariella, a charismatic council secretary with a penchant for mixing up idioms, exclaimed to her colleagues, “Uwejja! We shud throw our hat into dis chicken coop, no?” Determined to add a unique Maltese flavor to the conference, she unwittingly set off a series of blunders that would elevate her to the status of an accidental diplomat.

The Plan Unravels

Mariella, accompanied by her fellow council members, Dun Żaren—who wasn’t actually a priest but enjoyed the reverence bestowed by the title—and Emanuel, whose well-fed demeanor was attributed to his love for ħobż biż-żejt, orchestrated a “break-in” (which was just them showing up uninvited) to the summit, armed with baskets of pastizzi.

“We came to break the bread, as dey say,” Mariella declared, her English accent as Maltese as a plate of Timpana. “On top of dose important topics, we figured tummies will need some gastronomical security, mela.”

The trio somehow managed to bypass layers of security with their disarming charm and mouthwatering pastries, finding themselves amidst puzzled diplomats and dignitaries.

The Twist No One Saw Coming

As Dun Żaren regaled a group of Swedish delegates with tales of Mdina’s ancient knights, and Emanuel unwittingly advised a German attaché on the best ways to enjoy pickled olives with their ftira, Mariella stumbled upon something unexpected—a microphone left unattended on the main stage. One might think her a mere council secretary from a small Mediterranean island, but Mariella had the spirit of a village festa announcer. She seized the moment, and with an impromptu speech laden with mispronunciations and colloquial gems, she bridged the gap between her simple life and complex international relations.

“When eet comes to unregular migration and security, we Maltese know about crossing troubles waters—literally, ħbieb (friends). You want to learn about surviving? Just ask any fisherman from Gozo after a stormy day at sea,” she boomed, filling the room with spontaneous applause.

The ties between EU-West Balkans were strengthened not just through official documents and policies, but through a shared laughter thanks to the delightful blunders and wisdom of a Maltese Kunsill Lokali.

Epilogue

As the summit concluded, the officials left with more than just political resolutions; they had anecdotes of the time a Maltese council turned an international summit into a community feast. International media buzzed with interviews featuring the lovable trio, making them overnight sensations.

And so, while governments often plot and plan, sometimes it’s the unplanned, unorthodox contributions of people like Mariella, Dun Żaren, and Emanuel that add the most unexpected flavors to the melting pot of international diplomacy.

The Times of Mela got hold of this tale, and we irresistibly ask our readers, mela, isn’t it time we let more pastizzi shape our international strategies?