The Infallible Judge’s Sandwich Dilemma

An Unexpected Judicial Conundrum

In the heart of Valletta, where the streets are lined with historic buildings whispering tales of yesteryears, there existed a courtroom quite unlike any other. The honorable Judge Pawlu, revered for his uncanny ability to deliver justice with a peculiar twist, found himself facing a peculiar situation that would unsettle any conscience and baffle the wisest of minds.

A Bishop’s Bold Edict

One sunny afternoon, as the sirocco winds flirted with the Maltese coastline, a profound statement thundered from the pulpit of the majestic St John’s Co-Cathedral. The ever-so spirited Bishop Wistin proclaimed, “Be an uncomfortable presence for those who don’t want to be conscientious!”. His words echoed through the grand marble halls and somehow seeped into the very foundation of the courthouse.

The Sandwich that Shook the System

It was just another routine day at the court, with Pawlu settling disputes and munching on his beloved ħobż biż-żejt, loaded with tuna and a dash of zesty kunserva, when in strolled a plaintiff carrying a sandwich of such tantalizing aroma that even the stern-faced statue of lady justice seemed to lean in for a sniff.

“This sandwich,” the man with an air of frustration bemoaned, “does it not meet the criteria to be classified as an authentic pastizz? For it is made not with puff pastry, but with sliced bread!” The courtroom stirred with whispers and silent gasps. Mela, in all the years of Maltese culinary tradition, this quandary had never been entertained!

A Judicial Quest for Culinary Truth

Could the sacred pastizz, guardian of the Maltese teatime, be redefined?

Judge Pawlu, league-stretching his judicial robes like a gallant knight of old, embarked on an unprecedented quest: a taste test. In the days that followed, the courtroom transformed into a gastronomic colosseum, a battleground where food vendors from the winding streets of Mdina to the serene beaches of Gozo found themselves summoned to this most appetizing of trials.

Twist of Tastes: The Decision that Divided a Nation

The dramatic week culminated in Judge Pawlu’s ruling, pronounced before a rapt audience that hung onto his every word like the final score of a festa fireworks competition. “The bread-bound creation,” he declared with the solemnity of a Maġistrat tasting a sub-par rabbit stew, “whilst scrumptious, cannot usurp the title of pastizz. For tradition dictates that a true pastizz bears the flaky embrace of puff pastry and a heart of either ricotta or peas.”

The Unexpected Reverberations

The decision rippled through the social media channels, with #PastizzGate trending alongside selfies with disappointed faces holding up sandwiches next to their cousins clad in pastry. The Bishop himself took to Twitter, praising Judge Pawlu for his brave stand against culinary heresy and for being a conscientious presence amidst the doughy controversy.

The Interactive Judge’s Corner

But Judge Pawlu wasn’t quite done yet. He initiated an interactive segment called “The Judge’s Corner” where citizens could cast their vote on whether sandwiches deserve their own special name, one that befits the Maltese language and culture. The choices ranged from the whimsical “Hobzizz” to the nostalgic “Nostalġibżejt.”

The People’s Verdict and A Twist of Fate

The masses voted fervently, their fingers clicking and tapping as though the fate of Malta’s midday snack reputation hung in the balance. Ultimately, it was “Hobzizz” that captured the hearts and appetites of the people, sending local bakeries into a frenzied rebranding.

Little did they know, the plot twist awaited. The plaintiff, who once argued for his sandwich’s place in the pantheon of pastries, was none other than the undercover Michelin-starred chef Monsieur Croque, who came to Malta seeking inspiration. Delighted with the outcome, he launched a new “Maltese-inspired” menu at his Parisian bistro, placing Hobzizz alongside the finest of French cuisine.

As the island buzzed with pride, satire, and a dash of culinary envy, the ‘Times of Mela’ tipped its hat to Judge Pawlu – the infallible epicurean adjudicator – and his infallible judgment that had, in a truly Maltese twist, placed the humble sandwich on the global gastronomic map. Uwejja!