The Great Social Media Fiasco of ’23

Uwejja! A Tweet Too Far?

It was a sweltering midsummer’s eve in Sliema, and amidst the hustle of tourists gobbling down ħobż biż-żejt like there was no tomorrow, the Maltese Standards Czar unleashed a shockwave that rippled through social media realms. With the swiftness of a Gozitan breeze, a declaration was made: tagging ministers in government-sponsored posts had officially been dubbed as “ethically dubious.”

Tagarama Takes Valletta by Storm

Peering over his spectacles with a furrowed brow, Carmelu, the Czar of all things upright and proper, clutched his report as if it held the secret recipe to the perfect pastizz. As the sun cast long shadows over the bastions of Valletta, eyebrows were raised, and mobiles vibrated with notifications up and down the archipelago.

“Is it the coming of a social apocalypse, or have our thumbs grown too powerful for the good of the nation?” pondered Carmelu while sipping his kafè.

Local influencer, Dora, a glorified purveyor of figolla selfies, took to Instagram in a huff, branding the situation a scandal as deep as the blue lagoon. Her followers’ world was rocked; they couldn’t even tag the Minister of Fisheries while posting about their lampuki pie!

Unexpected Twists in Mdina

In a twist of fate, cab driver and part-time philosopher, Leli, discovered the eye of this social media storm quite accidentally. One late night while passing the silent city of Mdina, he overheard two officials discussing the “Taggate” scandal in hushed tones.

The Real Reason Behind the Ban

Leli’s eavesdropping skills, perfected over years of transporting gossiping tourists, unearthed that this ‘tag ban’ was not about ethics at all. It was a ploy to save the ministers from the dreaded ‘notification fatigue.’ An affliction so fierce, it stopped them from enjoying their fenkata in peace.

“Imagine being pinged in the middle of your rabbit stew,” Leli exclaimed to his passenger, who couldn’t care less as he was too busy wondering if an Instagram post of St. John’s Co-Cathedral would get more likes at sunrise or sunset.

A Mockumentary Destined for Stardom?

Word of the czar’s pronouncement spread like wild thyme across the islands. The local filmmaker, Twanny, smelling an opportunity for the next viral hit, decided to create a mockumentary titled “Notifizzed: The Tale of Too Many Tags.”

A Bold Interview with the Czar

Twanny: “Carmelu, tell me, is this truly about ethics, or are our beloved ministers’ fingertips simply sore from incessant smartphone tapping?”
Carmelu: “Listen, Twanny, it’s a digital conundrum wrapped in an enigma, sprinkled with intrigue.”

As Twanny rolled his eyes, the plot started resembling a pastizz pastry – flaky and full of hot air.

The Verdict

The absurdity reached its peak when the People’s Front of Malta (PFM), a formidable group of elderly Facebook warriors, began a protest outside the law courts. Their demand? The right to tag anyone, anytime, with special consideration for tagging their grandkids in memes.

Mela, as the setting sun dipped beneath the horizon, painting the sky in hues of pink and orange, a compromise was reached. Tagging would be allowed, but only if accompanied by a full-on disclaimer, a photo of Imqaret, and a heartfelt “Uwejja!” to shield accounts from any ethical ambiguities.

Epilogue

The Times of Mela, your number one source for all things extravagantly Maltese, now waits with bated breath. Will our ministers ever double-tap again, or have they become merely ghosts lingering in the digital halls of notifications? Only time, kollox will tell.