The Curious Case of the Barter-Bent MEPs

Ċirkewwa Carnival of Crazy Campaigners

In the picturesque village of Ċirkewwa, where the ferry leaves the mainland for Gozo and the sea breeze whispers tales of old, there was a bustle unlike any other year. The annual MEP Awards, known to the locals as ‘l-elettoral Oscars,’ were nigh, and two particular Maltese representatives, Carmelina Fenech and Balduinu Zerafa, were at the heart of the fray.

Carmelina, famous in Mdina for her ability to speak at the speed of a pastizzi fresh out of the oven, and Balduinu, the historian hero of Vittoriosa with 7 Facebook likes (and 2 sad reacts) on his best post yet, were pushing pledges and promises like hotcakes in a bid to outdo one another. Their twisty tactics had everyone on the edge of their rickety wooden kitchen chairs.

A gastronomic pledge gone hilariously haywire

It began with Balduinu’s ingenious promise to his constituents. With a twinkle in his eye, he vowed on national television, “If elected, I’ll make sure every citizen gets their weight in ħobż biż-żejt!”

Carmelina, not to be outdone, hosted a live-stream cooking show where she attempted to whip up a rabbit stew. She almost convinced her viewers that she knew what she was doing—until she mistook a carrot for a parsnip, leading to a flood of “uwejjas” in the comment section.

An odd twist of fate

But Mela, this was just the beginning. One evening, as tourists flocked to the legendary Azure Window in Gozo for the picture-perfect sunset, the two candidates found themselves face-to-face amidst the crashing waves.

“Balduinu, sliema! Ready to plummet in the polls?” teased Carmelina, a smirk dancing on her lips.

“Only if I trip over your discarded policy flyers, Carmelina!” replied Balduinu, his laughter echoing off the limestone cliffs.

What they hadn’t realized was the secret pact of the local fishermen. Unamused by the political circus, they had arranged a little ‘cultural exchange’ between the two rivals. In a nocturnal covert operation, they switched the candidates’ campaign materials. Come dawn, Carmelina’s towering rabbit stew billboards were plastered with Balduinu’s beaming face, while Carmelina’s portrait graced every one of Balduinu’s bread-filled flyers.

Interactive Campaign Conundrum

Kollox was topsy-turvy, and as the sun rose, the citizens of Malta were in for a surprise. Online, the candidates’ social media profiles had been swapped—Carmelina’s feed was now filled with historical facts and Balduinu’s with speedy speeches.

As the blunder became public, the Maltese people decided to have a bit of fun too. They launched an impromptu poll: which MEP candidate was more entertaining? The votes poured in, and the competition became fiercer than the rivalry between neighbouring village festas.

The Unforgettable Finale

On the eve of the awards, the two nominees appeared on ‘Xarabank,’ ready to salvage what was left of their dignity. But as they sat opposite each other, the host revealed the poll results: it was a tie.

Their animosity melted like a cube of gbejna in the summer sun. They realized that the true spirit of Malta—its unity, humor, and sheer resilience in the face of absurdity—was the real winner. Hand in hand, they watched as a commemorative monument of their comical campaign was unveiled at the Upper Barrakka Gardens in Valletta, a testament to their shared victory borne from the fires of mishap.

And thus, the tale of the barter-bent MEPs became the stuff of Maltese legend, shared with laughter between bites of pastizzi and sips of Kinnie. Mela, isn’t politics just another festa in the end?