The Great Mdina Traffic Jam Caper

It All Began on a Quiet Tuesday…

It was just another sleepy afternoon in the ancient city of Mdina, the silent city, known for its picturesque alleyways and noblemen’s palazzos. The kind of day where the only excitement you’d expect is the local cat, Harissa, chasing a lost tourist around trying to steal nibbles of their ħobż biż-żejt.

Enter the Unlikely Heroes

Twannu, a freshly retired fisherman from Marsaxlokk, decided to start his new career as a “tour guide”. His first group? A band of expats eager to soak up some history over the weekend—and perhaps a few pints of Cisk, no doubt. Twannu, clearly unfamiliar with the concept of “silent city,” proudly revved his new, second-hand minivan into the heart of Mdina, tunes from the latest Eurovision hit blaring from the windows.

The Plot Thickens

Meanwhile, Rita, a feisty pastizzeria owner from Valletta, had ventured to Mdina to spread the word about her revolutionary pastizzi—stuffed with artisanal gbejniet instead of the usual ricotta or peas. As luck would have it, Twannu’s minivan broke down right in front of her pop-up stand, blocking the narrow passage and trapping a convoy of horse-drawn carriages behind it. Chaos ensued with clippety-clop and honks blending into a melodious pandemonium.

Disbelief and Denial

“Din mhux ħaġa!” exclaimed an exasperated carriage driver, as bewildered tourists started to crowd around the scene.

Twists, Turns, and Rabbits

Mela, uwejja, who would’ve expected that Twannu’s broken-down van was atop an uncharted catacomb entry? As the growing crowd jostled and pushed, suddenly, the ground gave way, and Twannu’s van, along with Rita’s pastizzi stand, was swallowed whole into the depths below. A collective gasp escaped the crowd, followed by an eerie silence… until Twannu’s head popped out the hole shouting, “Kemm hi sabiħa l-istorja ta’ pajjiżna, hux!”

A Historical Surprise

To everyone’s shock, it was not just a catacomb but an ancient storeroom full of Phoenician wine jars—pristine and somehow forgotten by time. The police arrived, barely containing their laughter at the absurdity of the situation, as Twannu, now covered in dust and cobwebs, offered a jar to the nearest officer.

“If this isn’t a find worthy of a festa, then I don’t know what is,” quipped the officer, as the crowd cheered in agreement.

The Aftermath

The Great Mdina Traffic Jam Caper, as it was fondly dubbed, went viral across Malta. Everyone was talking about Twannu’s unconventional entrance into the history books. Rita’s pastizzi became immortalized as the snack that fell into history, and tourists now had a new, unlikely attraction.

Dynamic Turn of Events

In an inspired twist of fate, Mdina’s mayor announced plans to convert the site into an interactive museum where visitors could sip on ancient wine and enjoy rabbit stew croquettes, all while learning about Malta’s rich history. As the news hit the roads, bumper stickers began appearing on cars across the island, sporting the slogan:
“Traffic is temporary, but Mdina’s history is forever!”

In the end, Twannu’s disaster turned into a delightful slice of Maltese life, proving that even in a jam, there’s always room for a bit of fun. And Rita? Well, she became an overnight sensation, with offers to franchise her pastizzi stand across all of Gozo. Mela, who would have thought a traffic jam could cause such a stir?

A Final Word from Twannu

“Kollox jiswa, my friends. Even a broken van can lead to treasures unbeknownst. Now, who’s up for a tour of the catacombs with the most famous tour guide in Malta?”

And just like that, the sleepy city of Mdina buzzed with a fresh wave of excitement, forever marking the pages of ‘Times of Mela’ with one of the most remarkable events in recent Maltese history.