A Curious Case of the Misplaced Ġbejna: Valletta’s Dairy Drama

Un-brie-lievable Turn of Events

In the narrow, sun-kissed streets of Valletta, there was a buzz thicker than the smog on a summer’s day. The city was up in arms—or rather, up in loaves—over a cheese-related crisis. Ġbejna, Malta’s beloved sheep cheese, was disappearing from delis and dine-ins faster than you could say “għaġin.”

Characters to Cracker for!

As the island’s intrigue peaked, a cast of peculiar locals emerged. There was Karmnu, the cheese-maker, known for his prize-winning ġbejna and his equally award-deserving moustache. Then there was Eżmeralda, a no-nonsense grocer with a passion for ħobż biż-żejt and a tongue sharper than a Sicilian lemon. Lastly, making up the trio of trouble was Tarcisio, a conspiracy theorist whose beliefs were as numerous as the holes in the Maltese public transport system.

Milked for All It’s Worth: An Interview with Karmnu

“I tell you, my ġbejna is loved by all – from Sliema to Gozo! To see it vanish like the quiet in a festa, it breaks the heart. Someone is behind this, uwejja, mark my words!”

Plot Twist: Theft or Misplaced Trust?

Investigations led by Eżmeralda, who fancied herself a bit of a detective after binge-watching crime dramas, took a turn for the hilarious. It all unfolded at Paceville, the heart of Malta’s night scene, where the ġbejna trail went cold—quite literally. Evidence led to an open-air freezer, abandoned like a carnival float in Lent.

Tarcisio’s Twisted Tale

“These ġbejnas, they’re going missing on purpose. It’s all part of a plot to wean Maltese off of dairy and onto quinoa! They can’t fool me; I’ve got my eye on them like a hawk on a blind mouse!”

A Taste for Drama: The Social Media Meltdown

Social media was ablaze with #GbejnaGate, with wild speculations thrown about like confetti at a village wedding. Kollox was not what it seemed. YouTube channels popped up with names like ‘The Great Ġbejna Heist’ and ‘Cheese Chasers.’ One Instagram influencer even claimed to have found a ġbejna under her pillow, courtesy of the “Ġbejna Fairy.”

Turning The Tables: Mdina’s Most Wanted

The real twist hit everyone harder than the breeze through the Mdina dungeons. Karmnu discovered his trusted delivery lad, inseparable from his rusty bike, innocently dropping wheels of ġbejna at the wrong locations. This comedic enigma had mistakenly created the island’s biggest cheese chase!

The Delivery Lad Speaks Out!

“I was doing my rounds in Ħaż-Żabbar, when I spot this van—it looked like it needed a good ġbejna, so I left one there. Then I saw a cat looking quaint in Qawra, seemed like she fancied some cheese too, mela. It was all with good intention, I swear!”

The Resolution: A Cheesy Comeback

As the misplaced ġbejna were rounded up from every nook and cranny across Malta, laughter replaced the gossip. A celebration was in order, with a feast featuring rabbit stew, pastizzis, and, of course, the star of the show, ġbejna—all’s well that ends with a well-fed belly.

Final Words from Karmnu

“Maybe I’ll start adding tiny GPS trackers to my ġbejnas, just in case. But for now, let’s enjoy this taste of home that brought us all together—which, if you think about it, is really what cheese is all about.”

And just like that, the island’s cheesy conundrum had come to a close, with everyone having a gouda laugh at the absurdity of it all. The ‘Times of Mela,’ faithfully bringing you the latest and grate-est from Malta, ends on this ricotta-ble tale of unity and dairy delights!