The Mysterious Case of the Self-Propelling Ħobż biż-Żejt

Amidst the Hustle and Bustle of Valletta

Uwejja! Ħej ħej, in Valletta, where the honey-hued buildings kiss the azure skies, a peculiar event has brandished itself into the history of the town. A self-propelling ħobż biż-żejt—that scrumptious Maltese bread slathered with tomato paste, drizzled with olive oil, kissed with a hint of mint, and hugged by tuna and capers—has caused quite the stir in the esteemed streets of our capital city.

Locals and tourists alike gawked as this ‘Wonder Bread,’ let’s call it, sailed through Strait Street, ducked into doorways, and twirled around tourists like a well-rehearsed ballerina.

Meet the Artisan of the Animated Appetizer

Enter Lino, the artisan baker from Mdina, known for his soft hands and the magic touch that could make yeast rise with just a glance. But this time, Lino’s talents inadvertently went too far, dabbling in a bit of kitchen alchemy that would make even the Knights of St John raise a brow.

‘Tis Not Witchcraft, ‘Tis Science!

“Mela, it’s all a misunderstanding!” Lino exclaimed in an

exclusive interview

with Times of Mela. “I found this recipe in an old book tucked between the walls of my great-uncle’s ancient pantry. It said to add ‘bicarbonate of something.’ I thought it meant bicarbonate of love… Guess it was soda.”

The Famed Reaction

Witnesses report that a minor accident occurred when Lino unknowingly created a reaction causing his bread to be imbued with the spontaneity of a feisty festa firework. “It took off from the counter faster than a rabbit heading for his warren,” one awestruck customer at the bakery recalled.

Chasing the Charismatic Carb through Gozo

The chase was akin to a carnival float loose on the streets. It traversed the ferry to Gozo, where it led a procession of bewildered tourists and excited locals, lauded as a seasonal miracle by some, and eyed as potential tech startup by others.

Not Your Everyday Business Proposal

Where others saw a bizarre food anomaly, Manuel, a wily entrepreneur from the island, saw the opportunity of a lifetime. “Kollox is possible if you’ve got enough imagination—and maybe some bicarbonate,” he jested while drafting a business plan.

The Unexpected Plot Twist

Just as Manuel concocted plans to capture the ħobż biż-żejt and exploit its kinetic capabilities, a twist as twisty as a qassatat’s flaky crust emerged. The bread—ever the patriot—found its way to the legendary Azure Window ruins. There it stopped, nestled amidst the remains, as if paying homage to the fallen landmark.

Viral Stardom and a National Sensation

The tale of the wandering bread caught fire on social media. “#WonderBreadMt” trended, and everyone tuned in to see Lino’s creation pirouette one final time before settling down by the ocean. Some claimed it was the spirit of Malta itself encapsulated in a slice of bread, others that it was one sandwich short of a picnic.

Epilogue: The Aftertaste of Innovation

In the end, the self-propelling ħobż biż-żejt did more than evade capture; it evoked laughter, brought communities together, and sparked wonder. As for Lino, he returned to his beloved bakery in Mdina, promising that his next culinary invention would stay grounded—literally.

As for Times of Mela, we raise a toast (or should we say a slice) to the self-propelling bread that gave us all an unforgettable tale, seasoned perfectly with the flavors of Maltese life and just a pinch of culinary chaos.

Mela, dear readers, till the next tale of the unexpected, remember to keep your pastizzi plated, and your ħobż biż-żejt within arm’s reach.