The Maltese Falcon’s High-Flying Business Empire

The Unexpected Tycoon of Sliema

In the shimmering coastal town of Sliema, where the promenade is dotted with ġelateriji and the scent of ftira lingers in the air, a surprising business mogul had emerged. Frida Falzon, a retired schoolteacher with a penchant for giggles and gossip, accidentally became a real estate giant after a game of Bingo at the local “Każin” turned into a lucrative investment spree.

Enter the Ragtag Consultants: Pawlu and Doriella

To handle her unexpected property empire—which, mind you, now included a small part of Mdina’s bastions, several flats overlooking the Gozo ferry, and an old ħobża shop—Frida enlisted the help of the most ‘qualified’ team: her narcoleptic nephew Pawlu and Doriella, a former TVM fortune-telling superstar with a mildly concerning crystal ball obsession.

The Game-Changing Tea Leaves

“We thought the tea leaves spelled disaster, but turn out, they just spelled ‘disco,'” Doriella remarked during a high-level meeting at a pastizzeria.

Nobody truly understood what that meant, but it didn’t stop them from transforming the ancient Gozitan salt pans into the most visited open-air disco, complete with strobe lights and a floating dance floor. Ticket sales skyrocketed as partygoers flocked to witness the salt crystals glow under disco balls—an idea that was both ludicrous and genius.

The Shocking Revelation

The plot thickened when, during the grand opening of “Disco de Ġir,” a strange electrical fault revealed ancient carvings beneath the dancefloor. Historians flocked to the scene, leaving the glittery crowd to alternate between dancing and deciphering ancient scripts. Frida’s disco was now not only a heritage site but also the trendiest history lesson in all of Malta.

The Interactive Twist: Readers Vote

The ‘Times of Mela’ left it up to their readers to decide the fate of the disco. Through an online poll, locals voted overwhelmingly to keep the party going, leading to silent disco tours where people shimmied with headphones amidst UNESCO inspectors.

Falzon Enterprises: To the Moon!

With the money pouring in, Frida decided to take her business to the next level: lunar real estate. Hiring a team of Maltese NASA rejects, she announced plans to build the first ħobż biż-żejt franchise on the moon’s surface.

Malta Takes on Space

“It’s one small step for man, but one giant leap for Maltese ftira,” Frida declared, as she unveiled lunar-property brochures designed by none other than Pawlu, who had mysteriously awakened from his slumber with a newfound talent for graphic design.

While the world watched in a mix of awe and confusion, the ‘Times of Mela’ subscribers were treated to live tweets from Doriella, claiming her tea leaves had predicted this all along. Her social media posts became so popular that they disrupted online trading for a day, leading to a global increase in investment for… tea leaves.

Legacy of Frida Falzon

In an unexpected twist of fate, Frida’s ventures had put Malta at the centre of the world stage, sparking a cultural and economic renaissance. Who knew Sliema’s very own former schoolteacher would dance her way into history books with disco lights and space-bound pastizzi? Ah, uwejja, the power of a Maltese entrepreneur!

The Readers Have Their Say

As the Times of Mela’s most interactive story came to a close, readers were once again asked for their input—this time on naming the first lunar pastizzeria. The winning suggestion? “The Cosmic Ġbejna.” Because, mela, nothing says Malta like cheeselet pastries on the moon.

Nota Bene: The Environmental Angle

Amid the laughter and wide-eyed dreams of moonlight ħobż, the Times of Mela doesn’t forget to mention the eco-friendly approach taken by Frida’s empire. All moon-based structures would be constructed from recycled moon dust and Maltese innovation—a testament to the tiny island’s big heart and even bigger imagination.

So, ‘Times of Mela’ readers, keep your eyes to the skies—because the next time you glimpse the moon, there just might be a twinkling light signaling a special offer at The Cosmic Ġbejna. Kollox possibli, only in Malta!