Malta’s Teachers on a Wild Goose Chase for Mythical €10,000 Raise

The Promise That Turned Mdina Silent

In a twist that could only happen in the Maltese Archipelago, where the sea is as choppy as the daily gossip, a jolly Minister of Education, nicknamed ‘il-Professur tal-Pastizzi’ because of his notorious snack choices, made a startling announcement. It was during a flamboyant press conference in Mdina, the Silent City, which became anything but silent when he declared, “We’re proposing a €10,000 salary raise for all our esteemed teachers!”

As the news spread like wildfire, teachers across Malta, from Valletta to Gozo, began planning their futures: booking those extra dive excursions in the Blue Lagoon, eyeing the latest model of the Dgħajsa speedboat, and ordering extravagant supplies of ħobż biż-żejt for celebratory lunches. However, the Malta Union of Teachers (MUT) soon stepped in with a face even longer than the queue at the Ċirkewwa Ferry Terminal.

Uwejja! How’s about we stick to the facts, hein? No such increase was ever proposed. This must be some kind of żball or a very late April fools’ joke.

A Sea of Confusion

Turns out, ‘il-Professur tal-Pastizzi’ had mistaken a suggestion for a modest cost of living adjustment to mean something out of a teacher’s wildest dreams. In reality, the proposed raise was akin to the price of a single Ftira on a sunny day in Marsaxlokk market – not quite the treasure chest teachers were hoping for.

Social media went berserk, with teachers creating memes faster than a tourist burns at Għajn Tuffieħa in August. One particularly viral image featured a teacher holding a gigantic pastizz, with the caption: “Mela, if this pastizz represents our salary increase, our wallets will stay as flaky as this pastry!

Agitated teachers stormed their local Band Clubs, the typical Maltese watering holes, to vent over a round of Cisk and rabbit stew. The chatter was loud, the beer flowed, and the rabbit was tender, but answers were as rare as a quiet day in Paceville.

The Great Unraveling at the Grand Harbour

In an effort to make sense of the hullabaloo, a mockumentary-style interview was staged aboard a luzzu in the Grand Harbour, featuring the now-infamous ‘il-Professur tal-Pastizzi’ trying to clarify his previous blunder in his charmingly bumbling way.

No, no, no… what I meant was, we will INVEST €10,000 more in the education sector. This might trickle down to a little something extra in the pockets of our hardworking educators. You know how it is, kollox comes to he who waits! But more on that later… maybe.

However, teachers weren’t buying what ‘il-Professur tal-Pastizzi’ was selling – not even at a discount on Black Friday. A mock ‘For Sale’ ad started circulating online:

For Sale: One slightly used Education Minister. Comes with a free box of pastizzi. Disclaimer: May not deliver on promises, but will surely raise your cholesterol.

A Sweet Conclusion

In the end, the teachers of Malta decided to take matters into their own hands hosting a national bake sale, aptly titled “The Rise for a Raise.” It was held in Mgarr, where the strawberry fest is the annual talk of the town. With a myriad of baked goods that would make any pastizzerija green with envy, they indeed raised funds – not quite €10,000 each, but definitely enough to buy their own pastizzi for days to come.

And as for ‘il-Professur tal-Pastizzi’? He was last seen entering a Maltese language course, with one clear objective: understanding the true meaning of the word ‘proposal’ before his next attempt at public speaking.

Ara, next time I’ll stick to announcing fishing quotas or the dates for Carnival. They’re less complicated, huh!” he laughed, biting into a – you guessed it – pastizz.