When Pawlu Decided the Police Commissioner Needed an Upgrade

Mdina’s Mystery: A Commissioner Conundrum

It was a typically sunny day in the ancient city of Mdina, where the streets are so narrow, rumor has it they were built for the slim figures of gossiping nanniet (grandmothers) to pass through while avoiding the day’s chores. On this day, however, the hot topic wasn’t about who was seen leaving someone else’s house at an ungodly hour, but rather about a certain Pawlu – a retired postman turned amateur political analyst.

Pawlu, well-known for having a say in everything from the best way to prepare rabbit stew to predicting elections, had decided that the position of Police Commissioner was in dire need of an update. “Mela, it’s like trying to catch a barracuda with a fishing rod made for qabru (goldfish),” he complained to his captive audience at the local pastizzeria. His solution? The Commissioner should be appointed through a robust two-thirds parliamentary majority following a national game of ‘il-Ġostra.’ This way, agility, strategy, and public support would all play a role.

Birkirkara’s Buzz: Taking the Motion to the Masses

In Birkirkara, where the chatter in the town square is so vibrant that social media algorithms often give up trying to keep up, Pawlu’s plea had become the talk of the town. Iz-Zija Lena, a local influencer famous for turning ħobż biż-żejt into an art form, was live-streaming her thoughts on the matter.

“Uwejja, let’s make it a fiesta! Picture it: a Ġostra pole outside every polling station, slippery with lard and topped with the key to the Commissioner’s office! Everyone who wants the job must scale it as voters cheer on. Now, that’s democracy with a twist, quite literally!” she exclaimed while adding an extra drizzle of olive oil to her sandwich.

Her stream buzzed with heart and laughing emojis, as the island effectively turned into a frenzy of excitement over the idea.

Gozo Gossip: Cross-Island Tensions and a Twist

In Gozo, where life is as serene as the glimmering Azure Window on a day without tourists bumping into you for selfies, the reaction was mixed. Some were thrilled by the idea; others thought it would interrupt their nice and quiet life.

But in a plot twist worthy of a ‘Times of Mela’ headline, it was revealed that Pawlu’s sense of humor had gone viral, and the people began to organize their own ‘Ġostra’ events. Teething problems ensued – one overzealo participant, a jolly fellow with a love for ftira, made the pole collapse, claiming he was “testing its sturdiness.”

The Plot Thickens: The Maltese Roast and Motion

As the story unfolded, an impromptu nationwide debate commenced, culminating in a parliamentary session that was more heated than the midday sun on a Sliema pavement. Eventually, after waves of laughter and disbelief, ‘il-membri parlamentari’ (the Members of Parliament) decided to humor Pawlu and entertain a discussion about his proposal.

“This Pawlu, he’s on to something, but what if we turned it into an annual charity event instead? Imagine the funds we could raise by watching hopeful Commissioners scramble up a pole, only to face the slippery wrath of Maltese politics,” suggested a savvy MP amidst a roar of approval.

The Verdict: Malta’s Mood

The motion, while ridiculous in nature, had sown a seed of camaraderie and laughter across the islands. It was a beautifully absurd moment where political engagement had been redefined, even if just for an instant.

True to his style, Pawlu concluded, “Kollox sew as long as we don’t forget to laugh at ourselves. After all, isn’t that what makes life on these islands so special?” he declared, before biting into a crispy pastizz, oozing with ricotta and a side of satirical wit.

So while the Police Commissioner would remain appointed in the conventional manner, for now, Malta had enjoyed a collective chuckle and a brush with democracy re-imagined. All thanks to Pawlu’s peculiar policy proposition, proving once again that in Malta, humor might just be the most valued currency.